Working with fear in another

A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic

Copyright 2008 by K. Ferlic, † All Rights Reserved

 
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The discussion "Dealing with Fear" provides information about how to work our fear within ourselves. Although what is provided can be provided as advice to another, fear is some that only the individual and work and how they choose to work it is their choice. With fear, all that seems that can be done is to address the real hazard in the fear and continually invite the individual back for the experience. However, some my run so far away in their fear they never come back to see the hazards can be addressed and it is only a ghost of the past which haunts them. Often it is difficult to find a way to get the attention of those who do run away in fear to let them know it is safe.

We need to realize, in working with a fear in another or with one who is being limited in their movement by fear, we are not in control. We must allow them to lead. All we can do is keep a gentle focus on overcoming the fear.

As one goes through life, there will be experiences that arise that makes one more and more fearful if they allow themselves to be captured by the fear. We may find that an individual starts an activity initially finding it very enjoyable. Then, over time there may be one or more aspects of the activity that arise that for one reason or another that makes the activity frightening. Sometimes the reasons are clear and can be traced back to some previous experience. Often, the reasons are unclear and probably lie deeply buried within the individuals consciousness.

It is much like a child who starts a developmental physical exercise program. As the activities become more expansive and difficult, the individual is required to working faster, climbing to new heights, combining many task into one. In doing so, they become afraid and hesitant even thought the child may not have had any accidents or there are no incidents that one can point to as the seemingly sudden cause of the fear and anxiety. Of course, if there is some type of accident or injury which causes pain to arise within the activity, it is only natural that fear of being hurt again rises.

This is what we find in life itself. We elect to participate in a set of experiences and then find the experiences grow well past our comfort level for whatever reason. When we fell uncomfortable, fear can set in. Accessing and releasing our unlimited creativity is a similar type experience. It will take us past our comfort level so we can fully expect fears to arise.

Individuals of any ages, just as children, need confidence to step out into an unknown new adventure and be daring. Confidence is built on competence and the attempt to build confidence canít be rushed for the rushing itself will create a new set of problems. Confidence is built through experience and it takes time to gain the experience. Relative to accessing our inherent creativity, hopefully the concepts, principles and exercises the Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity material will help individuals gain the confidence to face their fears and step out into their unlimited creativity.

On this note of facing our fears, in the same way a young child intuitively knows when they are ready to walk, to run, to balance, to climb, an individuals know when they are ready to move pass the mundane of life and step into their unlimited creativity. However, as in the case of a child climbing or learning balance, they need to be provided the opportunities and freedom to explore their unlimited creativity at their own pace. One cannot be pushed. If they are pushed too hard and/or too soon, they may lose their nerve and/or develop other problems that arise because of the suppressed feelings. If they are pushed and their feelings denied a whole set of other issues will arise. One can offer an individual the opportunity to enter their fear but it should be the individualís body wisdom and intuitive guidance which guides them when they are ready.

The circumstances one will experience in releasing their unlimited creativity, for example stepping out of mind, following the left hand path of convention, relearning to play, and the like, can cause fear to arise within individuals. We can help the individual to address their fears if we take the individualís temperament, overall development, and the source of the fear itself into consideration.

In regard to an individualís temperament we needs to realize we can no more turn a cautious individual into a daring one. The individual must do it themselves. They must do it from within their own being. They cannot do it unless they willing choose and set the intention to do so. Similarly, we cannot hold and/or restrain a wild risk taking individual no matter how many times we tell them to be careful. They must first change within and recognize the wisdom of thoroughly evaluating the implications and repercussion of their actions before they act.

In terms of development, individuals who are further developed will be able to take responsibility for what needs to be done. Less developed individuals will have to be cautiously lead and we will need to rely on our intuitive guidance, not our head, to lead them. What we think tends to push the individual. Following our intuitive guidance allows us to be more responsive to their true needs.

As for the fear itself, it depends on the fear the individual carries, what gave rise to that fear and what stories their mind has created around that fear. Normally an individual will have to explore the fear and its origins. Something exploring the origins of the fear takes great courage for there is much pain associated with or around the fear and the experience that gave rise to the fear.

Often we will need to let the individual stop and drop the fear related activities until they asks for it again - if they ever choose to do so. We can offer and/or invite, but we cannot force. In forcing we will violate them at some level of their being. Similarly, we cannot suggest challenging activities or stunts that might frighten them further. The individual will probably be required by their own being to take small, comfortable steps until they feel bold enough to engage the fearful activity themselves and to do it all on their own. Here we need to trust the creative process. If in the process of facing their fears, the individual holds the intention to overcome their fears, their intuitive guidance will lead them in a way that they manifest what they desire.

We may ask, "How will the individual know that it's time to try?" Unless they are listening to their intuitive guidance they wonít. This is why we in their life and you are reading this. Most probably they are not consciously listing to their intuitive guidance to know what to do but there are being lead to us to help them to address their fear. However, all we can teach them is to learn to listen to their intuitive guidance and allow their intuitive guidance to lead them and create the space for them to experience the guidance which arises form their intuitive guidance system.

The individual who possesses the fear can help the process to address their fears by learning to use their intuitive guidance and body wisdom. Their intuitive guidance and body wisdom are their greatest ally. Additionally they can visualize and imagine that they are standing on the other side of their fear and/or they can ask their to ask their intuition "What does overcoming the fear look like?" An alternative way of overcoming the fear is to ask their intuitive guidance "What does it look like, or feel like, living without my fear?" Then the individual needs to hold the image, vision or feeling, they get within their being. If they choose to ask for our help, we can help the to do what needs to be done. However, we need to give them the help the need not what our mind wants to give. In all cases, it's better for their own intuitive guidance to tell them what to do than for us or any one else to tell them.

Individuals are helped most by being given safe tools, letting them creative play in safe places to address their fears and standing near enough to help, but not pushing them and continually warning them or comment on what we think about what they do. The principles and concepts in the Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity material will allow us to create that safe and secure space for ourselves to address our fears and help create the space to address the fears of others. Remember we cannot give what we do not have. If we cannot face our own fears, we cannot create the space for another to face their fears. In assisting another, we do need to be cautions a warning individual too often, They may begin to ignore all our warnings. Similarly, if we continually protect an individual, they will not learn how to protect themselves because they knows we will rescue them if they goes too far and they will never learn to stand in their own power.

For an individual to move past their fears they and others will need to notice the small successes that are made relative to over coming their fear. Their failures should not be emphasized but handled in a very low key way. One thing that can be recommended is to have the individual focus their attention on stories about individuals who had fears of their own and overcome the situation or difficulties. Additionally, it helps to see that every-body has a few monsters and demons hiding in their mind even if it does not always seem them are expressed.

On this point of relaying the experiences of others, we can tell them about individuals who dislike and feared to do something until they tried it. But it is probably better to have them talk to the individuals who overcame their fears rather than read about the individualsí experience or be told stories about them. An individual with fear needs to be encourage to see that lives of others are really no different than theirs. Sometimes an indirect message told within the story of another can address the concerns of an individual better than directly confronting it with the individual. This is one reason why small group discussion or "sharing" can be so effect. We do learn and copy from others more that we realize and there is the realization, "If they an do it so can I.".

The bottom line in dealing with fear is to never lose the courage to take risks and/or to create the space for another not to lose courage. We only need to remember that the essence of our being is a creative spirit/creative life energy which continually recreates itself. We are immortal and we can never really be hurt for we are an eternal spirit always within the flow from the Source. It is only mind and the illusion it creates that we are separate or can be disconnected from the Source. We will find the more they step out past our fears, the stronger we will become in anything that we do. One of the greatest gifts we can give another is to be there with them, creating a safe and secure space for them to be free to work out and face their fears in a way that is most appropriate for them.

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Dealing with Fear
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