|Creative conditions created by sexuality|
A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic
Copyright 2005 by K. Ferlic, † All Rights Reserved
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Creative conditions of sexuality
To understand why sexuality is the powerful creative state that it is, it is helpful to understand the essence of the creative process. The pool of water analogy for Creation provides an effect way to see where some of the power of sexuality arises. Many aspects of the following discussion use the pool of water analogy for Creation and it is recommended that topics be reviewed. Also, to understand and use sexuality as in the second most creative state we need to understand both the body and the consciousness of the individual point of consciousness which inhabits the body. That is, the body is a result of the intention for our life and the experiences the individual point of consciousness desires to experience for whatever reasons. As, as an individual point of consciousness there are things we bring into our current life through our transcendental mind which will impact how we use the body as we have experience that causes us to remember ways of the past that both served and didnít serve us.
We create by how we focus our attention and awareness. Sexuality directs a significant portion of our attention to the body, especially when we are engaged in sexual intercourse. As a minimum, the focus of our attention and awareness on the body does much to convince us that we are a human been as opposed to an independent point of consciousness having a physical experience as a human being. This focus of our attention and awareness additionally brings tremendous energy to manifesting what we are thinking and feeling in, and with, our body. In this awareness, this focus of attention and awareness can be used consciously for a variety of purposes. One of which is to awaken and access the body and use the awareness found in the body wisdom and the awareness in what we feel to come to know the intention for our life and what brings us life.
Our body and our mind are imprinted by the experiences we have. In particular, they are imprinted by the feelings we have. Overall, the power of sexuality lies in the feeling it creates and the feelings which fuel the desire to engage life, seek more of life and to engage another. The feelings can be so strong they are totally irrational. This, of course, is necessary to ensure the propagation of the species. However, this same strong desire can also be directed toward what we feel about a particular creative endeavor if sexuality accompanies the creative endeavor. That is that same passion to create and engage life becomes the passion to engage in the particular creative endeavor. However, the creative power of sexuality goes beyond just the feeling it creates to act for there is an awareness in what we feel.
Because sexuality is so relaxing and calming to the body if not the mind, and the body is particular part of our consciousness manifested, both our thoughts and intention along with the memory and energy of the passion generated gets inserted into a calm pool of consciousness. If we can consciously surrender to the moment we will create an unparalleled calmness in all levels of being but especially the body and those parts of consciousness responsible for creating and sustaining the body. If we are not conscious of what is occurring, there is still a great calmness that permeates our being at the nonconscious levels. This calmness in turn is a fertile space for any thought or intention that is inserted and held to grow and manifest in our life. This is one of the idea ways to create as reflected in the pool meditation "Pool of creation/Creation insertion exercise."
Normally when we donít surrender to the moment because our conscious mind that is occupied with thinking. Although what occupies our mind can and does affect the nonconscious and dormant conscious aspects of our being, the nonconscious tends to become very calm unless there is trauma associated with the sexuality for our creative life energy is tied to the body and has manifested the body. So as a minimum there is a very fertile space created within our nonconscious and dormant consciousness and the manifestation of these as the body. If there is trauma associated with the sexuality, that also gets manifested in our nonconscious mind and manifested as a binding of our creative life energy and influencing our creative power by robbing us of that energy.
We can use sexuality and physical intimacy to intentionally to create this calmness within our being paralleling what we attempt to do in any mediation or yogi practice.. Yet most seek the pleasure of sexuality and turn it into an addiction as opposed to realizing it can be used to help process our pain and/or creating a fertile space to manifest our thoughts. What needs to be understood is that this calmness will cause the pains and hurts of the past to surface and be address for the energy bound within the memories will cause the memories to bubble up and break the calmness. If processed, the energy held within the painful memories become available for a new creation. Additionally, in needs to be understood is that the most energetic aspect of our memory will surface and usually represents the greatest block to the flow of our creative life energy for what we desire to create.
Another way sexuality is a tool for creation and creativity is that any thought or intention that is held will be planted in the fertile fields of consciousness. Here our intention for engaging in sexuality is extremely import for it underlay the entire process. When the fertile space within our being is created, the intention we hold for having/using/engaging in sex gets planted and reinforced no matter what that intention may be.
There is the conscious intention we have for engaging in sexuality. It is here we have the chance to change everything. However, most of us are unaware of how we can use clear intentionality to change our reality. To have sex because it is enjoyable to satisfy our own needs without any true thought and consideration for the partner lays seeds of separation. The seeds we plant in this case are quite different than the seeds we plant in having sex to satisfy our needs yet ensuring our partner is fully willing even if this is only for the other partner seeking to enjoy themselves. Here there is an element of respect and awareness for the other that will help bring wholeness into our life. Similarly, we can set the intention to calm our being to plant a desire for its manifestation but if the partner is not willing that unwillingness gets reflected in what we are planting.
What needs to be realized is that if we are not aware of our thought for becoming physically intimate and/or sexual and the intention behind it, it nevertheless gets planted in our psyche in a most powerful way to grow and produce future seeds. We cannot escape it or second guess it.
The intention we have for engaging in sex is a thought inserted into the fabric of Creation that will manifest as an experience. To engage in sex purely to serve our own needs, that is, "I want sex," we are planting seeds of separation and ego gratification. The reason is the focus is on the "I want" and the illusion of separation arises because of the "I am this..." and "I am not that....". If we engage in sex as part of a completion, the joining of to complements and because we want the other person to feel honored and cherished in that we see them as someone for whom we have great respect and as a part of Creation that could not be experience without them, we are laying seeds that remove separation. Such desires moves us to the understand all is one and that we find ourselves in the reflection of another.
If we are physically intimate to pump up our ego in achieving another "conquest," we are planting seeds in the most fertile ground possible to create a big and harden ego. That is, we have an ego conquest. Or, do we act out of obligation to a partner, in which case we are planting seeds of a life characterized by obligations and/or imprisonment of our creative spirit. Similarly if we have given our control away in any way in this physical act, such as the feminine (whether that feminine aspects lies in a male or female body) giving themselves for the safety and security provided by the masculine, that too gets reinforced in the most fertile ground for creation possible. In doing so, we will find ourselves doing it again and again ending up in unexplainable victim relationships. Here the feminine will always look to others for the safety and security. Fear, guilt, secrecy, ownership issues, and a myriad of other attitudes and attributes also get passed along in the process without ever realizing it.
Similarly to the intentions we hold, any though we hold at the time we engage in sexuality is reinforced and becomes planted in our psyche in a most power way to grow. What we are thinking during our sexual actions become important.
In addition to the intention we hold for engaging in sex, there is the thought that we hold during the action of lovemaking. They can be the same but usually they are very different. The question is, "What are we thinking about?" Are we totally present to what we are doing in every way or are we thinking about the past, the future, or how the other will think about our performance? Are we resentful in some way or totally free to enjoy the experience?
Whatever we are thinking, that thought is being reinforced by the energy of the sexuality and we are planting the seeds of our thinking in our being. The seeds in turn will grow and bear fruit. Again, if our thoughts are anywhere other than being fully present to what is occurring, we are planting seeds of separation simply because our mind is separated from what we are doing. For example, we are thinking of someone else when we engage sexually we are laying seeds of separation and reinforcing living outside the moment either in the past or in expectations of the future.
If we are totally present we are learning to be present to what is, as it is, we are planting seeds of being present in the future and being fully present in the moment. Here we plant seeds of becoming aware. In this regard, love making can be a very powerful meditative or "yogic" type action that allow us to train our being to be fully present in the moment and become mindful and aware of what we are feeling and sensing. Since it can be such a pleasurable act the pleasure helps to catalyze the efforts to become mindful as opposed to some disciplinary type action typical of most yogic efforts.
We must become aware that every time we are physically intimate, we are reinforcing and multiplying in our life the thoughts and intentions we hold about the intimate act in which we engage. We only need to think about how we have engaged in sex and sexuality and look carefully how it has colored our life and how we live or donít life our life because of it. More on the though(s) that are held during our actions is discussed under the three topic of the conscious, subconscious and unconscious levels within our being discussed below.
Sexuality pumps up the energy and disorientates the mind. It is a great way to get out of mind. The feelings can be overwhelming. Then the relaxation afterwards allows the creativity to flow. It is not uncommon for consciously creative people use sexuality almost as a muse to pull forth their ideas.
Diversion is a way to consciously use the nonconscious process. Whenever we are looking for creative solutions, diversion through play is a very powerful method to access information and sexuality can be a very playful state. We only needs to set a clear intention for what we desire to understand and then move off into the diversion of play. In doing so, the answer or the path to get the answer will surface through our intuitive guidance and/or body wisdom.
Sexuality can be used as a diversion of play to reach any aspect of the infinite nonconscious. It will work all the time if we are aware of what is actually being made available to us. Here the play is in the play of sexuality itself. Whether it is the intention we hold, or the thought we hold during lovemaking, the play of sexuality causes a diversion and our intuitive guidance will access information as to how to manifest that intention and/or thought in the world. That information arises in us to be available for our use whether we consciously realize it or not. So by choosing our intention or a particular thought to hold, we can use the diversion to access the information we desire. Similarly, if we are unaware of our intention and/or the thoughts we hold, we will still get insights about that intention and those thoughts.
If our partner is fully understanding the technique can be very powerful. If however, we are trying to use our partner to achieve our own ends without their knowledge or agreement, the diversion process will still work, but we plant seeds of separation and deception that will cause other issues to arise in our life as the fruits of our actions. Although we may not see the issue arise because of how we used sexuality without the fully willing consent of our partner, they nevertheless will arise.
If we are willing and free to explore sexuality each time we engage in sex and totally allow the feelings what arise to guide us, the sexuality opens the door to experience beginner's mind. Since beginner mind is the type and kind of mind we have the first time we have an experience of some type and kind. That is, mind has no preconceived ideas about how things should go or look. Sexuality, because it can be so overwhelming involved with feelings, can be a door way to beginnerís mind. In learn to step into any sexual experience even with a partner for thirty years, we can learn to experience beginnerís mind. In learning the ease of surrender to beginnerís mind through sexuality, we can take that ability to surrender to any experience we encounter in life.
As said repeated in the variety of topics on sexuality, sex is about mixing genes to provide a variability to the offspring to enhance survivability of the offspring of the species. What is not understood, is there is mixing of energy at each and every level of being. In some way, some part of our energy is mixed with our partner. The mixing is only part of the merging of energy to create the new life. If we pay attention, we will see we think different in some way as a result of a sexual interaction. Some may even feel a confusion for they have no context for understanding the energy they pick up form their partner.
In looking at this mixing is not so much about actually exchange energy although it can be looked at in this manner. Rather it is about awakening an aspect of our consciousness which creates a new flow of energy within our being as it awakens. We can then choose to keep that awareness awaken and maintain the flow of energy or we can allow it to go back to sleep. However, in allowing it to go back to sleep because we find it undesirable, we may find ourselves putting other aspects of our consciousness asleep. Namely the reasons and thinking which allowed us to initially to engage in sex comes into question in our mind because it lead to the awakening some undesirable aspects or having some undesirable experience. By choose not to do as we did, we are develop response patterns to life that puts our creativity in a cage of our own making much the way we did as a child. Rather than pulling the string and finding out why the experience was undesirable and addressing the root issue, we simply shut down a part of our being.
On a more positive note, we can look forward to what is exchanged and even do things with each other to enhance awaken part of our being. Role playing and metatheater accompanying the sexuality can be quite powerful at awaking insights and surfacing issues where we shut down our creativity in both our current life and experiences that transcend our current life that like in the realm of our transcendental mind.
Unless one is forced into sex, there is some level of passion to engage in sex. It doesnít matter what we think is giving rise to that passion, for example the passion found in obligation, there is some passion. That passion is a flow of energy and, as a flow of energy, it is a has a life unto itself. Sex is a life giving power as every creative endeavor. Every creative endeavor takes us back to the Source of Creation in one way or another to one degree or another to free the energy bound into the existing creation through the sacrifice of creation to make the energy available for the next creation. The question is, where do we direct that flow of energy. If we donít direct it consciously, we will be directing it nonconsciously.
There is nothing wrong to say, "I had sex because I felt I wanted to have sex." There is no judgment on this. However because there was the feeling to have sex there is some intention which gave raise to that flow of energy giving rise to the feeling. As such, that flow of energy was being directed toward a very specific end. Additionally, any decisions we make or donít make adds to that flow or diverts that flow of energy from the intention which gave rise to it. We just need to realize any feeling we have is the result of flow of energy. Any decision we make to act or not act on what we feel is a decision and it has consequences. If we do not act on what we feel consciously, we will act nonconsciously. In acting nonconscioulsy more often than not we are acting on our enculturation as opposed to what best serves us and our creative spirit.
There are five requirements to manifest any intention we have. One of the major requirements is to have the passion to create what we desire. The passion we have is ultimately determined by what we think and believe. The reason for this is our mind functions like a switching station throttling and/or turning the flow of creative life energy on or off relative to a given intention. Any memory we have concerning our intention can catalyze or rob energy from our actions.
Any action we take relative to any thought we have or intention we hold is a thought made manifest and creates a memory. If the memory is pleasant or desired, it can catalyze any future action around that thought. Any memory that is undesirable will rob energy from any future action. The greater the feeling good or bad about the experience, the more energy available to energize the thought. This by the way is true for every action we take. In this regard, we can create rituals around energy thing we desire to manifest with the intended purpose of creating pleasurable and stimulating memories about what we desire to create.
It needs to be emphasized that any physical sexuality in which we engage while holding particular thoughts or intentions is the equivalent of a ritual. Our actions couple a powerful memory to those thoughts and any underlying conscious or nonconscious intentions. Those thoughts held in the conscious mind and any underlying conscious or nonconscious intentions that we have while engaging in sex about why we are having sex are particularly catalyzed This is very significant because of the amount of energy that flows or is blocked in sexuality that it becomes so significant an issue.
We need to remember the concept of a ritual. It is to make a thought literally or figuratively physically manifested in some way to intentionally create a memory to catalyze the manifestation of that thought. In this regard, the thought and intention we have for becoming intimate is acted upon and made physical just as we would in a ritual. So now that thought is reinforced by a memory and the passion and energy involved in physical intimacy gets pumped into that memory and into the thought and its corresponding intention. On this point, the opposite is also true. If for some reason an individual is force or some how participating in sex in a way that really does not serves them, those actions similarly rob our creative power.
In addition to creating mental memories, we also create body memories. Relative to the body memories created in sexuality it needs to be remembered, the ideal way to manifest any thought is to calm oneself and then consciously insert a thought into that calmness of being. This process is goal of the "Pool of creation/Creation insertion exercise."
Because the body stores memories, the body itself hold the thoughts and feelings we carry when the body is imprinted with any strong feelings. The feelings in turn get internalized in the body or the body forms itself in a way that the memory and feeling is entwined within body structure. If the sex allows us to grow and expand our being, our body will engage and align itself in a way that supports life and allows us to grow and expand in life. In this regard, the sexual energy can be seen as a healing energy restoring health and life to parts of the body that may have been otherwise low on life and energy.
If we are stifled, manipulated, controlled, feel pain, feel denied, used or any other type and kind of feeling that does not support the freedom of growth and expansion also gets internalized in the body. These feelings lay the seeds for unhealthy conditions and conditions that do not support life and living. This in turn causes us to contract our being into a protective shell that can be so suffocating as to cause some type of accident, illness or disease.
In may ways we can look at this process of the body storing feelings and memories as a piece of iron in a magnetic field. The iron is our body, the magnetic field is the experience we have and the strength of the magnetic field to align the iron core is determined by how much the experience is freeing for our creative spirit to unfold true to its nature or how binding and restrictive the experience is. The body is always repairing itself and placing worn tissue with new tissue. When every we have a freeing experience, the body cells that are being repaired and replaced in that moment get aligned in such a way that health is supported. Whenever we have binding experience, the body that is being repaired and replaced gets aligned in a way that does not support growth. Without a particular influence, patterns become encoded and copied again and again in the body until the patterns are replaced. The next time that particular repaired and/or replace portion of the body is repaired in the future depends on the experiences we are having at that time. If the experience is relatively neutral, the pattern is copied. If the experience is freeing, it is repaired in a way that supports life. If the experience is binding, it is repaired in a way that does not support life. Hence we create conditions of health and disease over time. When enough of a particular type and kind of tissue has non life supporting patterns, illness, accident or disease arises.
This is why a way of being every day is so important as compared to one time or infrequent attempts to create conditions of health. The body is reforming itself every moment. The goal is to create a state of being such that every moment the body is creating a conditions where we have a desire and passion to live life.
This one reason why it is important to have supportive and life nourishing experiences as a child and as an adult to have spontaneous and innocent childlike experiences. As a child, because the childís body is developing so fast, there are a tremendous number of pattern being imprinted that will get carried though life. Additionally, since so many of the childís experiences are the first of its kind, those memories always seem to carry a bit more emotional energy. Hence life supporting or non life supporting patterns are encoded early in life. As an adult, to experience spontaneous and innocent childlike play allows the tissues being repaired to be recast in life supporting ways and help one to maintain health. It needs to be remembered that unhealthy patterns first form at the energetic level and a scattering and fragmentation of our energy. In time, the more we scatter and fragment our energy the more we create experiences around those scattered and fragmented patterns.
Although we are forming patterns within our body all the time and in ever sexual intimacy, most individuals are not aware of its existence so they fail to understand how their sexuality may be creating unknown influencing controlling their life and ability to create.
Relative to body memories and sexuality, there is also a cleansing effect that is possible because the flow of energy can be so large. When an individual is free to engage in sexuality with a totally supportive partner who is looking to create freedom for the individual the flow of energy which is created can be seen to literally and figuratively flush out many past body memories. This tends to occur when the sexuality turns into a spontaneous and innocent childlike play of discovery and exploration. However it is not something that can be controlled by mind. That is, one cannot enter sexuality with the expectation of creating this cleansing effect. Rather, it is about being is such a safe and secure space and the freedom to just be true to oneself such that our creative spirit is totally free to flow however and wherever it needs to flow. It is then the most powerful transformations occur in sexuality or through sexuality. It is as thought an entire new life is created within the individual.
What needs to be understood is the following comments are based on the energy consciousness perspective of Creation. That is, we are the creator of our experiences and the creator of the reality of those experiences by how we focus our attention and awareness. The material of creation/Creation energy consciousness, flows to create a experience of what our consciousness holds at some level of our being. This energy consciousness understanding gives rise to the understanding we each possess a creative spirit within being that can be experienced as a creative spirit or a flow of energy Most importantly, as discussed in the topics "Origins of Creation," "Observer observed pair and the nature of duality," and "How the inner reflects the outer," whatever we experience in life we have created for one reason or another by how and what we have come to think and believe and by the choices we have made.
Whatever we experience is only Creation giving us what we have desired to experience - again for whatever reason we have. On this point, we have agreed, for whatever reason at some level of our being, to have a physical experience as a human being for this time and this place. To have that experience we have accept what it means to be a human being as determined by the current human collective and have agreed to play by the rules of Physical Creation. There is an intention for our life and there are things that we came to do. Some of those things we came to do are for ourselves. But we also came to play a role for Creation and/or for others. What we came to do is reflected in the gift we incarnated to give and some portions of the gift we give to another may not always be judged by our mind as pleasant for ourselves.
Creation is not done alone and we each need another or other to give us the experiences we desire to have. Some experiences we judge as pleasant and some as not so pleasant. But, in any case, we create them all exactly the same way. In this regard, the perspective use here realizes that we are part of a larger creative process. We do not see the whole process for what it is and exactly how our role fits into the larger picture. The intention for our life and what we came to do existed before our current mind came into existence and the memories we have in, or from, this life. So our mind will not necessarily understand how or way we experience what we do. It may take a whole lifetime to understand what a particular life was all about and the key pieces to the puzzle may not be available until the end of the life. Or, then again, our mind may never fully know or understand and it can be known only through a perspective that lies beyond mind. Nevertheless, our consciousness play its role in the creative process and we, in one way or another, create our experiences.
This understanding becomes very important when we talk about our sexual experiences. When our experiences are pleasant we donít really question them. However, when the experiences are forced such as in a rape or molestation, we see ourselves a victim of another. It is here most have great difficult with the energy consciousness perspective. That is, we play a role for the other. It is not that we are masochistic or desire to create pain for ourselves rather it is something much, much deeper and about what we currently think and believe as to what it means to be a human being and how the creative process works. One of the powers of sexuality is that it is one of the most powerful tool to see how we need another for the experiences we have. There are many things that will arise only in the context of sexuality and we can being to see how the other is just the occasion for certain experiences.
To address how and why someone would choose, for whatever reason, to create an experience to be used, abuse, raped, molested or otherwise injured or harmed is not something that can be addressed simply or in any kind of a brief discussion. However, to be open to the possibility that for whatever reason we do play roles for each other, and some of them are terribly painful and traumatic, we can then being to understand the subconscious and unconscious aspects of sexuality and, for that matter, the subconscious and unconscious aspects of creation/Creation.
With this as background discussion we can being to discuss the conscious, subconscious and unconscious effects of sexuality. That is, creation/Creation is not done alone and we play roles for each other for us to have certain types and kinds of experiences. We say "begin" for we cannot possible address all that is contained within the conscious, subconscious and unconscious relative to sexuality nor what it means for a particular individual. All that is attempted here is to create an appreciation as to how powerful sexuality really is in our creative endeavors and creating the life we experience.
Relative to the ten ways described above as to how sexuality affects our creativity how we focus our conscious awareness before, during and after a sexual encounter is very important. It is here we are provided with the ability to use what is experienced however pleasant or unpleasant it may be constructively or destructively. It is here there is a branch point and what branch we take entirely depends on how mindful and awareness we are of our thoughts and what we feel.
If we are mindful and aware and aware of the ways in which sexuality affects our creativity, we can pull the string on the thoughts and feelings that arise as to their origin. That is, why these particular thoughts and feelings as opposed to any other. If we look carefully we will see the feelings we have are different each time we experience sex. Of course, some would say to have such mindfulness and awareness and a desire to pull the string on what arises destroys the whole experience of sex. However, the truth of the matter is, it only destroys the experience if the only reason why we are engaging in sex is to feel its pleasure. But then, if we engaging in sex to feel its pleasure and that is the true focus of our attention and awareness, then we will feel its pleasure. However, if we are seeking to engage in sex to feel the pleasure to mask the pain in our life or other feelings we desire to escape, then our attention and awareness is really focused on escaping something in our life and we can be assured that something will arise that will not allow for the pleasure we seek. As a minimum, usually there is a shallowness or hollowness after the sex as to how it failed to ultimately satisfy what we sought.
If we are not mindful and aware of our thoughts and what we feel, then we are simply opening the door to allowing the nonconscious aspects of our being to determine what we experience. The nonconscious aspects are reflected in our subconscious mind and the experiences and enculturation of our current life and the unconscious aspects reflected in our unconscious mind and the experiences and beliefs which transcend our current life and held in our transcendental mind.
With the energy consciousness perspective our subconscious mind reflects all the experiences and beliefs from our current life of which are not readily retrievable by our conscious mind. That is, we have to focus our attention and awareness inward in some way to remember them. Or, alternatively side, we must remember them and some of them are easier to remember than others.
What is important about our subconscious is that it reflects the enculturation and programming given to us as children and how our society think about what it means to be a human being and what Creation is all about. In this regard, what we have assimilated from our current life may not reflect the truth of our being. But it does contain many beliefs about sex and when we engage in sex without being consciously mindful and awareness those beliefs and understanding get reinforced in our life.
Additionally, our subconscious mind reflects the programming we have received in life as to how we should be creating our life and the intentions we should have as to what we create in life. When we engage in sex, we are using a tool to create life. Without a conscious intention as to what life we desire to create, our subconscious programming about what life we should be creating will be reinforced and catalyzed. The life based on our programming may or may not serve our creative spirit. We may be puzzled at how life just does not seem to give us what we desire but we continually engage in sex for whatever reason continually reinforcing a life that does not serve us.
We need to understand the subconscious intentions we hold relative to sexuality that we hold during sex may be quite different than creating certain types and kinds of experiences and have nothing to do with creating a physical experience. Rather the subconscious intention is more reflective of how we have been enculturated to live life or have chosen to live it. Often the subconscious intention is more about reinforcing the enculturated ego and controlling the world in which we find ourselves based on our enculturation and programming. For example, we long for a perfectly compatible partner but nobody seems to fit that expectations that we desire and since that partner is perfectly compatible, that would include being sexually compatible. So, rather than waiting till we finds what we seek often the sexuality is too strong. To satisfy the sexuality we accepts what comes so to speak.
Rather than creating the reality that we desire we reinforce taking what comes and deny our own truth and ability to create what we desire. The attitude of taking what comes gets reinforced every time we engages in sexuality. An alternative approach that is not as limiting and binding and move us into the realm of conscious awareness is to realize that we do long for that perfectly compatible partner. However, we can also realized they are an infinite number of beings and it will take some time to create that perfect match for the existing conditions in our life for we are the creator of our reality and the experiences we have So rather than accept what comes along, look at the partner we find as the best we can create at this point in time and use it as a stepping stone to create the perfect partner.
However if we treat them as a stepping stone, we are reinforcing our ego and separation. However, if we treat them with respect as someone who is honoring the creator that we are and coming into our life to give us the experiences we desire to have, we keep open the path for creating that perfectly compatible partner. The only question is, "How do we want to create the perfect partner?" We may find that it already is the person in our life.
We cannot give what we do not have. As we act to live our truth, we give them permission and the gift to live their truth Then as they live their truth and not their programming we may find that are in fact that perfect partner that we sought. But we must give ourselves and the other a chance.
As we will come to see if we work with our sexuality, sexuality can be a tool for enlightenment and we can come to realize, anyone on the face of the earth can be our perfect partner if we can step past our own enculturated ego and transcendental ego and the conscious and nonconscious beliefs that create them. Whether or not the particular person that is in our life now stays in our life doesnít really matter. We will evolve in such a way that either they will transform with us or we will bring someone new onto our life who can move us closer to that perfectly compatible partner.
Within the energy consciousness perspective our unconscious mind reflects all the experiences and beliefs from experiences other than our current life. These experiences and beliefs are what caused us to incarnate into Physical Creation. They existed before our current life and we carry them deep within our nonconscious mind and they are reflected in our body and the world we experience. Alternatively said, they are what created our body and the world we experience.
For whatever reason, having a physical experience as a human being is the most energetic desire within our being and that is why we are here - to fulfill that most energetic desire. The deepest parts of our being does not what to be somewhere else. If it did, we wouldnít be here. We would be somewhere else. We are here become of the experiences we desire to have. In this regard, our unconscious mind acts as a deep undercurrent to our life leading us to the experiences we incarnated to have. Our body is the perfect vehicle for those experiences including its sexuality. The question is, "How should we be using the body and its sexuality?" The answer lies in feeling and engaging in experiences that gives us the feeling of expansion and fullness within our being.
From a unconscious perspective, as a minimum, the thought that is held in each of us is "to create a human experience" or "to become human" otherwise we would not be here. That thought or its equivalent is what created our human experience. But what we need to realize engaging in sexuality in any way reinforces our belief that we are human and not that our creative spirit desires a human experience. There is a profound difference in how we approach life to think we are human as opposed to only having a human experience..
If we are tying to transcend having a physical experience and the human condition, it makes perfect sense to abstain from sex and sexuality to become celibate or otherwise we will continually be reinforcing the belief that we are human for that is what we have to believe to have the physical experience. Otherwise, if we really knew and understood we are not human but only a consciousness having a physical experience in a human vehicle, we would view and act in life very differently than how we have been enculturated to live. However, this is of course is true only if we understand our true nature.
If we step out of thinking and beliefs that continually reinforce the past and realize that the whole purpose of sex and sexuality is to provide a grounding so our energy can flow and dissipate in the physical experience to process the intention for your life, sexuality is no longer binding. Yet in this view, we also need to become very aware of our intention and thoughts for we will know that is what we are grounding and making physical or creating the conditions to manifest as a physical experience.
What needs to be understood, the intention for our life leads us to desire to create physical life. But it is our enculturation at the subconscious level what will dominate how we live that life without awareness. So at one level our subconscious and unconscious intentions coincide to create our human life or life as a human. However, they diverge as to how to live that life. If the divergence is too great there will be pain and dissatisfaction in life and sex will never be as fulfilling as it can be. There will always be the feeling something is missing on which we cannot put our finger. However, if the two align, the sexual experience will be experienced as some type and kind of fulfillment for we will be achieving and fulfilling some of the experiences we incarnated to have.
It is here the feelings related to inner satisfaction, fulfillment, and fullness of being which arise during of after sex become very important. They will tell us how well we are aligned or not in alignment with the intention for our life. For individuals who are looking for a partner and engage in sex with more than one individual in that search, they only need to look at these feelings to know if: using sex is the correct approach; if the sexual experience is part of the fulfillment of what they incarnated to do and/or the individual with whom they have sex is the person that will lead them on the path of fulfillment. Having sex with an individual who can gives us what our mind wants in life and having sex with the individual who can help us achieve the experiences we incarnated to have feel quite different and we can discern the difference if we are open to feeling.