What moving past sexuality looks like
A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic
Copyright 2008 by K. Ferlic, All Rights Reserved
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What moving past sexuality looks
The following are observation as to what a male and female will need to do if they hope to move past sexuality to either use the awareness in the body in their creative endeavors as in the topic, "Using the awareness of the body beyond sexuality," or simply to access the awareness which lies in feeling and not become diverted by, or through, sexuality. They may or may not be reflective of what you personally will need to experience for your creative endeavors. Again, each of us is very different but there will be similarities since we are all human being.
To understand the following, one very important item needs to be clearly understood. For a male to enter a female sexually, there will be a mixing of energies and a life created at some level of being whether or not a physical child is conceived. There is no free and unencumbered sexual exchange in intercourse. To move past sexuality, one must be totally free to experience what they feel and discern the subtly in what they feel without being encumbered by mixing any energy. How you go about achieving what is described here is your choice. You just need to be aware sexual intercourse is about mixing energies whether or you believe it or not. Most often, that mixing only serves to further confuse what you need to do.
To move past sexuality the male must be able to achieve the following. Create a safe and secure space around a female to allow the female to become excited to orgasm and then allow her to take that energy inward to nurture her truth at every level of her being. The goal is awaken her to birth her truth to come out into the world and stand on its own two feet and express itself in whatever way it needs to be expressed for as long as it takes to accomplish this.
It is to be able to bring her to orgasmic pleasure but to allow her to lead what she does with those feelings. It is to not engage in intercourse for she must be free to take that energy and use it the way it needs to be used to birth her truth and bring that truth into the world. It is more about allowing her to become energetically pregnant with her own inner masculine and then allow her own inner feminine to nurture the child that is created from her inner masculine and inner feminine.
The role of the male in this process is only to give the female the depth and breadth of feeling at each and every level of her being. It is here the tradition idea of the need to become celibate arises to achieve a different level of being which many interpret to be a spiritual level of being. That is, the male must control himself to not enter the female even when the female is in the depth of orgasm - that is he must be celibate with her until she ready the way she needs to be ready, if at all.
What is described here is also not a one time thing. That is, the male cannot think "If I bring her to orgasm tonight and then abstain tonight, I can have her tomorrow." Nothing is farther from the truth. The male must understand he may end up never having her. He is only a tool to allow her to fully experience her body at each and every level of her being, of which her physicalness and orgasmic pleasure is only one such aspect.
For the male it is to begin to feel and discern the different in feelings of "having sex" with another and being in the full feelings of sex with another without having it. There is information in those feelings. If the male is open to feeling, he will discern very subtle differences in the energy and where it is lead. He will learn not to mistake sexual feelings for the need to have sex with the feelings of sexuality that arise relative to a creative endeavor. He will also be able to distinguish between when the sexual feeling arise in relation to a creative endeavor when acting on the sexual feelings will destroy the unfoldment of the creative endeavor and when acting on the sexual feelings will allow the creative endeavor unfold to completion. All sexual feelings are not meant to be acted upon in the way our mind thinks and believes.. This is why it is so difficult for a male who is the female’s lover or spouse to be able to do what is necessary for her. The male must create a sufficient love within his being to be that lover or that spouse but never be allowed to be the lover or spouse until what is inside the female comes out and is grows to maturity - and they may take years.
How a male can achieve such a state (Top): Most males will be unable to hold the space for a female as describe above as long as they hold their personal desires and interest above the freedom of the creative spirit of the female. In this regard, one way has been found to work for the male to get past his personal interest. It is for the male to set the intention to understand how males have hurt females and then take that journey into that understanding as one would pursue any creative endeavor.
This is not about understanding how a particular male hurt a particular female. If it could only be that simple. Rather, it is about the male coming to understand what the male collective has forced upon the female collective and the pain that resides in the feminine collective of humanity. Not just in the female collective but in the feminine collective which rises in both males and females. The tip of the iceberg of such pain is described in the topic, "The female collective and the pain female archetype."
The issue is not about females as such, although many females will feel the pain of the feminine collective as their own. It is about how the feminine aspect of Creation and how the feminine role which is responsible for nurturing any creation has been abused and used by the masculine mind of humanity in both males and females. In this regard is not only about the females being used by males. It is about the masculine mind of both males and females abusing and using the inner feminine which is essential to nurture the unfoldment of the truth of our being.
Many, if not most, both males and females alike, have had their inner masculine castrated and the dreams of others planted in the fertile womb of the inner feminine. The result is that the inner feminine is unknowingly forced to nurture the dreams of others rather than her own dream. Only when the male begin to understand how his own inner feminine has been prevented from nurturing his truth and bearing his own inner offspring created by the mature inner masculine and mature inner feminine can he being to understand how males have hurt females.
The bottom line is that each of us have within our being a creative spirit which has a gift for the individual and those in the individuals’ life. However, the gift cannot be given unless the creative spirit is free to unfold. The first step to freely unfolding in the world is a marriage or a dance between the mature inner feminine and mature inner masculine. That cannot be achieve until one at least begin to access and know the truth of one's own being to know what truly serves and doesn’t sever them. Then in the awareness of what type and kinds of internal and external conditions do and don’t allow the inner masculine and inner feminine to come to maturity one can see how males have hurt females. This awareness raises the corollary of how females have hurt males in being unable to nurture and give to the males true needs and not what the female masculine mind wants to give. In any case, the key is the feminine and understanding the nurturing feminine role for any creative endeavor. Without the feminine no creation can be nurtured and she lies in both males and females.
The issue for females to move past sexuality is actually easier than for men except for one primary issue discussed below. For the man it is about learning a level of control they usually never been required to experience. For the female it is the opposite. It is about being free to totally let go. For the female to move past sexuality, it is to be in the depth of the feeling of orgasmic sexuality with a male but without any need or concern for the possibility of a child at any level of being and without the needs of any type and kind of intervention to prevent conception. It is about being totally free feel the depth and breadth of what is possible. If she so elects and is so lead by what she has learn to discern in what she feels, she may or may not be lead to allow the male to enter her. Usually, she will not allow it simply because she must be totally free. Of course, she will have to put great trust in the male who helps her in this endeavor and that can be quite hard to do given the track record of male being able to control themselves. One criteria that can be used, but is not fool proof, is the compassion the male demonstrates for the freedom of another and that male is willing to do and sacrifice to obtain that freedom of another.
As a result of the way most females are conditioned to give and serve the male, the offspring and the family, it is so difficult for the male who will assist in this work to be a lover or a spouse. In such a relationship, the female is expected to give herself to the male. Any form of obligation or even the feelings of needing to give in exchange for what is given will curtain her freedom. She must be totally free to come to know herself at each and every level of being with out any attachments or obligations what so ever. To give to another or to any offspring, energetic or other wise, curtains her freedom. Only after the offspring of her inner feminine and inner masculine comes to full maturity and bears fruit can she give and not be harmed for then she will know what serves and doesn’t serve her at her deepest levels.
How a female can achieve such a state (Top): As said above, the issue for females to move past sexuality is actually easier than for men except for one primary issue discussed below. In essence, the female process is a shedding process. But what needs to be shed is the issue. The issue the female faces is two fold. But both aspects related to the ability of the feminine to nurture in the way that is required by the creation and not in the way desired by the masculine mind of either the male or female. The primary issue is that the female carries the pain of the feminine at two levels and she will find it necessary to face and work through that pain.
The issue is that the female is the feminine aspect of the human male female relationship. As such, she is naturally more in tune with the role of the feminine than the male. Although both males and females have the masculine and feminine within their being, simply because of the biological function of the body, the males are more aware of the masculine aspect and the females more aware of the feminine. No judgment on this and no suggestion one is better than the other. It is just simply a fact of nature.
However, because most of humanity is dominated by the mind and what we think, both males and females tend to live more from a masculine and mental perspective than the feminine and the heart perspective. Consequently, the role of the feminine in nurturing a creation is further suppressed. When something is desiring to manifest and it is suppressed, pain results. Hence there is a pain that resides in the feminine collective and that pain is in both males and females. As most know, pain, if not understood or acknowledge and properly addressed, leads to discomfort in many ways and things like anger and addictions.
Here again, the female’s awareness, being in the vehicle for the feminine aspect of humanity, a female body, she is more susceptible to feeling this feminine pain. Initially she will feel the pain of her own life and how the feminine aspect of her being has not been free to express itself and/or has been used and abused (not necessarily sexually) by men. In processing that pain, she will experience aspects of the pain of the female archetype and the focus moves from the men in her life to men in general. When what the female feelings move past the individual men in her life and takes on the flavor of men in general she is accessing the pain female archetype in some way.
How deep she goes into the pain female archetype and how much or how little she feels is unique to who she is and the type and kind of pain she has experienced personally in her life. But, in any case, the issue she faces is to get what see feels processed and flushed out of her body and her being. In essence, both her body and her being are holding the pain of her life and aspects of the female collective. What it means and what it looks like to process and flush out all that is residing within her relative to the feminine role in the creative process is unique to each individual.
Based on what has been observed in working with individuals, the recommendation is for the female is as follows. Set the intention to let go and flush out all that has she has collected and holds relative to the denied feminine role in the creative process to nurture creation true to it nature. This includes how she has been used, abused (not necessarily sexually) and suffered because of this role both individually and on the level of the collective. Then ask her intuitive guidance as to what needs to be done to process and let of what is felt and honor the guidance which is received.
If the female looks to blame the man/men in her personal life for how she has been abused, she will remain bound. If the female looks to blame men generally, she will remain bound. The issue is not to blame but to fix the root cause with compassion. Men, as women, have only been doing and acting in the way they have been lead to believe. When we realize we all arise from the same material of Creation and if we had the same total life experiences as another, we probably would do more or less what they do, if not exactly what they do, then we can make true progress. We will not look to blame another but look to see how we must nurture ourselves and our life to live to allow our truth to unfold true to itself. Then we can give what we have - truth and truth of one’s being. We need to remember, we cannot give what we do not have. Until we access and live our truth, until then, we give what we have and we give pain wrapped in some mental illusion about what we really are giving another.
What needs to be understood is that what is said here about the male needs to do and what the female needs to do is only because the male is more aware of the masculine role in the creative process and the female is more aware of the feminine role of creative process and we start where we are. So, the male starts with understanding how the male abuses the female to get to the feminine and the female stars with the pain of how the feminine has been denied. Both ultimately start with the feminine for the feminine is needed to nurture the creation - any creation. Then, when we understand what it means to truly nurture a creation and give what the creation needs and not what our mind wants, then we can move on to creating other things.
Eventually the female will have to face how face how she has used and abused the male because she did not understand the masculine. In this regard she will have to learn her own truth and become it the world. Then she will understand what has been denied the male. Eventually the male will have to become impregnated to give birth to know and understand what the feminine really means as to nurturing a creation. The male will have to become pregnant and give birth to an offspring that must be cared for and nurtured until it can stand on it own two feel much the way females does with children.
The question can be ask, "Why is a member of the opposite sex needed?" The issues is two fold. One is our flesh is an organ. There is the need for the body-body contact of flesh on flesh that can be achieved in sexuality. It is much different than what can be achieved in any form of massage or other kind of body work. Analogously it is much the way a small child desires to be held by its mother to process its pain when hurt. There is the need for the body contact and the more intimate it can be and the more surface area that can be addressed, the greater the impact to release bound energy in the body. Remember, the issue is to use the body and be open to feeling.
The second is that the individual needs to experience their total physicalness. The human body is constructed to procreate the species. That is done with members of the opposite sex. Whether one is heterosexual or homosexual and whether or not one loves sex or abhors it, being next to another causes a wide variety of feelings and mental judgments to arises. If we are mindful and aware of what we feel and what we think and pull the string on why we feel what we do and what we think what we do at such times, there is a gold mine of information that is invaluable. The issue here is discernment. It is to experience the physicalness of ones’ being but not mix energy sufficiently to create a physical and/or energetic child. That can be done at another time after a person is able to discern the flow of energy that gives to feelings that may lead to them to sexuality in whatever form it takes. Most have only experienced their sexual in mixing energy and never really learn to discern their own body or what they feeling in their body around sexuality without mixing energy. The mixing of energy masked what needs to be felt and discerned.
There is one known rare exception to the process discussed here where two individual can engage in sexual intercourse and mix their energies and still achieve what is discussed here. It is when the intention for incarnating of each individual has been for the two individuals to come together to learn to use sexuality as tool and learn to move past sex and each is consciously aware of that fact. It is not rare for an individual to have as one of the experiences for the intention for their life to learn to use sexuality as a tool and learn to move past sex. What is rare is for two individuals to be consciously aware that is something they need to do in life and then to find each other to be able to consciously do it. For this to occur, each would have had to have some way to know and be following the intention for their life before meeting. This what is rare. Additionally each will most probably have a deep compassion for humanity for they will feel deeply the need to help the other become free and in no way seek to hold the other. The compassion the individual feels for the freedom of another and their actions to create that freedom is probably the best indicator that they are someone who can achieve what is described her yet be able to engage in intercourse.