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Self Love or Selfish
Love?
Understanding self love
Awakening to unconditional love
To access the depth and breadth of
our
creative power and creative
ability, we must be able to love ourselves for who and what we
are. Of course, our
mind has its ideas of who and what we are based on the
experiences of our life and the enculturation we have received. The
question we all faces is “Who are we really and how do we find out?”
To find out who we really are, we will have to live what we find, no
matter what we find and be free to explore it to see if it is really
us. If we don’t, we will deny a part of our being and never
adequately explore that part of ourselves. Rather, it will be a part
we wish to avoid and not face as existing. We must be able
sufficient love all aspect of our being to be able to properly
nurture their needs in the way they need to be met no matter what
the external world think for they are our needs and they must be
met.
The question quickly arises, “Is accepting and loving all aspects of
our being and nourishing their needs in the way they need to be met
self love or selfish love?” Are we not being narcissistic?
When it comes to
love, we all have our experiences, opinions and ideas of what
love is and is not The topics “Love
and the Creativity Perspective” and “What
do we mean by love?” provide some thought on and about love.
What is offered here are some thoughts about self love that unfold
based on the concept of the oneness of the Universe. No matter what
you have experienced and think about love, these ideas may allow you
to see how an unconditional love actually does permeate the Universe
and lies behind its creation.
Understanding self love
(Top)
Love as defined in its current usage is used in several ways as
follows. It is seen as a deep devotion or affection for another
person or persons or it is to feel affection for another or
something. One use of the world is that love runs the spectrum of
sexuality. At one extreme it is seen as a strong sexual
passion for another person or as seen sexual passion in general,
or the gratification of our sexuality. At the other extreme is to
simply show affection in a form that may be characterized by less
than a small kiss or embrace. Another use of the world love is that
it is used as a term of endearment and/or a very great interest in,
or enjoyment of, something and/or to take pleasure or delight in
something or someone. In this regard, one’s love is the things so
enjoyed and/or the beloved. Some uses of the concept of love have a
spiritual aspects and is seen as the benevolence and mercifulness of
God toward mankind and as the adoration or devout affection of man
towards God. Love is seen as the kindness and charitableness man
should, or is expected to show towards others. Our personal
understanding and definition of love may or may not correspond to
what is listed here.
What is probably obvious is that we cannot give something that we do
not have. What may be less obvious is how this statement, we cannot
give unless we have, applies to
love. Unless there is a love that we can give to ourselves, a
love of self, a self love in the way we need to be loved we do not
have love to give to others. We only have what we think is love. Why
is this? The answer is simply because the universe is One. Lets look
at the process as to why this is true and start from the view of
evil and the way one can be very selfish as opposed to possessing a
self love and love of, or for, another.
When it comes to
love, evil is any action which suppresses the right of self
determination and expression at any level of being whether it be at
the spiritual, mental, emotional, or physical level of another or
deprives them of it. An evil action, is any action that one takes
that deprives another of this right of self determination. A selfish
action one taken that deprives another of their right of self
determination in order to use that individual as a puppet or
automaton in the service of our selfish or
ego ends wether or not the individual is consciously or
unconsciously aware of the service they provide.
Selfish is defined as caring chiefly for one’s own interest or
comfort especially to the point of disregarding the welfare or
wishes or others. It is proceeding from or characterized by the
undue
love of self and one’s own self interests. The question one
needs to ask themselves is “How much does what we do in life that
really selfish and directed towards our own interest, especially our
own comfort. That is, to make our life easy, pleasurable and free of
difficulties at the expense of others?” To take a service from
another without give due compensation is selfish. It may in fact be
evil if the other individual is deprived of their self determination
in some way. What also needs to be noted is that what had been
traditionally called “black magic” is only those non-physical
manipulations that we use to control another’s will or right of self
determination for our own ends.
It does need to be noted here that although we may judge something
as good, our judgement does not necessarily make it good and
beneficial for another. Even if that something is good and
beneficial for another, if our actions to get the other individual
to do what we think is good without bringing that person to the
realization of why it is good so they are freely allowed to choose,
we act selfishly. We act selfishly because we are imposing our
interests. We may even act evilly if we, in any way, suppress the
individual’s right of self determination to do otherwise.
This is one reason why contracts were developed so that each party
knows what is expected of them. However, even in a contract if one
person knows they are exploiting another and not being as fair as
possible to keep more for oneself is a selfish act. It is actually
evil if the exploited individual loses some freedom of self
determination. Similarly if a third party encourages individuals to
enter a contract in which the individuals are unaware of all the
implications that can, or should be otherwise known, the third party
may be creating a evil act in limiting the self determination of the
individual entering the contract.
When one looks at
love and the actions we take in the name of love, we begins to
understand that for most of us there is only one kind of love. That
love is selfish love. That is, actions that we take are caring
chiefly for our own interest or comfort. The question is, “How much
to we really do that is ultimately, and in the long term, not for
our own interests and comforts?” All love is ultimate selfish love.
The only difference is “who” and “what” we incorporates into the
sphere of “mine.”
The real issue we face is what is mine and what is not mine. That in
true being us back to the
ego and who and what we think we believe. Who are we really. Are
we the ego we believe we are based on the experience we had in this
life. Or, are we the creator of our experiences and the reality of
those experience. It is here is the real sticking point. If we are
in the ego based on the experiences we have had, whatever we do is
actually selfish. We are serving the self. However, is we see and
understand we are the creator and all that we experience is our
creations, whatever we do is
love for all that is. We have no one to blame for what we
experience and we can hold no one accountable to change. We must be
the one to blame and to change. Whatever we don’t see love in our
world, we are simply seeing a part of ourselves to which we have not
yet awakened and learned to give love. This of course is very hard
for the human
mind as we know it and understand to access this point.
Awakening to unconditional
love (Top)
When an individual begins to
awaken to the truth of who and what they really are, they act in the
world no differently than the way they did before. The saying is
“Before enlightenment - chop wood, carry water, after
enlightenment,“chop wood, carry water.” One’s external actions look
very much the same. The difference is what is encompassed by the
“self” and what is understand as “mine” and who we hold accountable
for changing.
As an individual awakens to the oneness of the Universe they acts
the same way and uses the same powers of the unawakened individual
to take care of their own interests and comforts. However, the
individual awakened to oneness realized they are only one cell in
the mystical body of creation and each of us are dependent on the
other. What one does to the other, one does to oneself. The
inner is reflected in the outer. As an individual awakens, long
before they realize the true extent of powers that lie dormant
within their being to influence others and they access the ability
to use them, their understanding will be open to the truth that all
is one.
Within this understanding of oneness, the individual has no desire
to use these latent abilities to influence others egotistically for
their personal ends or for personal power. This is not because the
awakened individual wants to be “selfless” or seen as “saintly.”
Rather, they experience being at one with all that is, and one with
the whole. Then they act out of the sheer egoism that “I am” and
recognition of being an
individuated view of the Consciousness of All That Is. The
realize that as that “I” they have elected to participate in this
drama as it is and as it unfolds.
The individual realize that they have a role to play just as each
individual within this drama. There is an
intention for our life and it is something to be fulfilled. They
look to the common good of the truth found within each heart and
free self determination of the
creative spirit of each individual with the drama. They use all
their abilities, talents and powers to serve the Divine plan which
lies within each heart, created by the Self that lies deep within
the individual.
For individual that have awakened, there is only one kind of
love, a selfish love encompassing all of Creation. Their love is
seen as selfless love when in reality it is the ultimate in selfish
love. The awakened individual has only left the little
ego of enculturation behind and entered the space of the
creative spirit of the
individuated Consciousness. They have expanded who and what they
are to embrace the universe as One. The difference lies in who and
what is seen as “mine.” The love itself has not changed it has only
evolved, matured and developed into the fruit it was meant to be.
That which the
ego determines as “mine” can include a person, an animal, a
object or thing, a family, a group of unrelated people, a nation or
the whole earth. The little ego of enculturation lives in separation
and grows and expand to encompass more and more in greater and
greater separation. In leaving the enculturated ego behind, who and
what we think we are, to become the embodiment of the
individual Consciousness, we expand to encompass all of
Creation. In this state of expansion, we can become a safe shift and
nurture each creation such that we give it what it needs to unfold
in freedom true to itself.
In all cases we continue to
love the self and love the whole of the self but the self has
changed. Initially we love ourselves as “myself.” Then, when open
ourselves to the whole of the universe and encompass the whole as
myself.
In this understanding, one never wishes to suppress the
consciousness, self determination and free unfoldment of the
creative spirit of another or to exert one’s will over them or
to enslave them or possess them. They realize each attempt to
enslave and posses is an enslavement and binding of self. The awaken
individual works to develop the consciousness and awareness in
others so that they will voluntarily enlist themselves in the
service of the divine plan according to the reason and purpose for
their incarnation.
The story one tells during one’s awakening to this realization looks
something like this:
-
I am my tribe and who my tribe
tells me that I am or that I believe I am
-
I am my body and independent
of my tribe
-
I am my experiences and not my
body
-
I am how I chose to experience
the experiences I have
-
I am a witness observing the
experiences I have with a body
-
I am the creator of the
experiences I have with a body
-
I am the creator observing my
creation of a body and its experiences
-
I am the creator of the body
and its experiences
-
I am the Creator experiencing
creation from with a particular body
-
I am the Creator experiencing
creation form within a particular body playing a role within
Creation.
-
I am Consciousness at Play
with Itself playing as I chose to play.
-
Which lead to the questions,
“So why did I [or you] chose to observe creation from within the
body that you view creation?”
From a
love perspective, it looks something like this.
-
I love my tribe
-
I love me, myself, above all
-
I love to ....
-
I love
-
I love myself as I am or I
love my self as “I am”
-
I love myself and the body in
which I inhabit
-
I love the world in which I
live and all that it encompasses as it is I, my body and the
world I inhabit are one.
Related topics
Narcissism.
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