Sexuality is a doorway to intimacy  

A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic

Copyright 2009 by K. Ferlic,   All Rights Reserved

Sexuality is a doorway to intimacy to both intimacy with ourselves and with another. Intimacy is about being intimate. To be intimate is defined as being characterized by pronounced closeness of friendship, relationship or association. It is about that which is deeply personal and/or private. It pertains to the inmost nature or being of something and pertains to that which is essential and/or intrinsic. It results from close study of or familiarity with a matter, subject or object.

In applying the definition of intimacy, to become intimate with something, we need to focus our attention and awareness on it. We need to study it and explore its features in detail. Intimacy results from a close study and familiarity with a matter. It is not something which is done at a distance. It is to explore the inner most nature or being of the object. To is to discover and understand what is essential and intrinsic to its nature and being. It is about revealing those things which cannot be share in public or even with a small group of individuals. It is about being free to express those things that are deeply personal and private. It is not about having an intellectual understanding about something. Rather it is to have gone into the experiential knowing and understanding of the most detailed parts and aspects.

To become intimate with ourselves or another means we need to study and explore in detail. By becoming physically intimate with another, at the deepest levels of our physicalness, the door is open to become both deeply intimate with the physicalness of our own body and at each and every level of our being and ultimately to become intimate with the way the Source of Creation expresses Itself through our uniqueness and the uniqueness of the other.

Unless we are mechanical and responding purely biologically, we cannot lie naked with some one without opening the door to intimacy in some way - as a minimum we open a door within our own being as to how we feel about the other person next to us.

Certain aspects of sex can be done solo, if not most. However, there is the needs for another. Skin is a sense organ and it feels. It is the doorway to open ourselves to feeling and learning to discern what we feel at each and every level of our being. The presence of another allows for feelings that cannot be obtained without another. This is especially true if we are going to access the deep feelings beyond sexuality. This is also the greatest trap of sexuality and cause of why so many give diverted by sexuality and not become captured or diverted by them.

There are profound awarenesses available in the deep feelings that lie beyond sexuality. One of these awareness is about the intention for our life for the intention for our life is what gives us life and brought us into life. There are many, many others and many of them are most useful in our creative endeavors where we need to step into the unknown. Additionally, in being in the unknown to manifest a particular creation, we will need to rely on feelings and our ability to discern what we feel to guide us. However, to access the awareness in feeling and/or allow feelings to guide us, we will need to be able to step past and through the feelings of sexuality.

It has been observed the problem in accessing the awareness which only comes in deep feelings which lie beyond sexuality and the feeling of sexuality is need for another. Unless the individual with whom we are sexual desires us to access that awareness, does what is needed for us to access the awareness, and are willing to do what is required so that we may live what the awareness directs we will not access them. It sounds like a very minor point but it has huge implications and is a major stumbling block. In essence, if the other is not willing to create the space for us to access the awareness, we do not have the freedom to do what needs to be done.

Creation arises in the desire of Consciousness to know Itself and communicate Who and What It is through the reflection of Creation. We create our reality and our experiences to both come to know ourselves through the reflection of another and communicate who and what we are. We can be perfectly content to live within a sphere of isolated wholeness. That is, were we are complete unto ourselves separate from the world around us. We can create that reality if we so choose.

Although it is an illusion for all is interconnected we can be quite content living in that world. However, we have chosen to incarnate into physical body that have sexuality hard wired into its structure. If we accept the reason for our incarnation and the fact we choose to have a physical experience we have to learn to understand and use that sexuality just as much as any other aspect of our body. It needs to be realize that sexuality is inherent into us and even if we undergoes and sex transformation the chromosomal structure of the cells of the body still reflect whether the body is ultimate male or female. If we deny our sexuality we deny both ourselves and the Creator.

What needs to be realizes is that rather than existing in a self-serving androgynous state where we contain ourselves within a bubble of self awareness and isolated wholeness, we created the opportunities to serve each other by choosing a physical vehicle. The physical vehicle of our body essentially forces us into relationships in order to be complete. That is, creation/Creation is not done alone. We need another to give us the experiences we need to have and/or desire to have. In doing so, we serve each other on a physical and biological level, on the ego and personality level and on the non physical level for all is one for there is no separation. That which we experience as physical and spiritual and the ego is just something that we use to create the illusion to experience Creation. However, if we choose, we can continue to maintain our androgynous mentally such that we live in a physical shell rather than a physical vehicle essentially denying the body and the senses separated from our physical body and the world around it. It is much like a turtle confined in its shell never to come out and explore the world in which it finds itself.

Although we can exist in a wholeness of being within ourselves like the turtle within its shell, from a creativity view point, it is very self serving to remain in an isolated shell of wholeness for we each awaken ourselves and other by the experiences we have. We incarnated into a physical body for a reason and the body we choose is the perfect vehicle for fulfilling that reason. The question is, "Are we learning to use the body effectively and for the purpose we incarnated or are we denying it in one or more ways because of how we are choosing to view Creation and the experience of Creation?" To remain within an internal balance of masculine and feminine is really an illusion for the internal is reflected externally and because we have a body, we have an external "polarity." We are not androgynous. To remain within an illusionary internal wholeness is basically serving the needs of our self, and not the whole self but part of our self.

The separation of the sexes is the final test in overcoming the selfish identity of self-containment. It is an opportunity to awaken ourselves through free will by creating a way to serve an individual other who is inherently different than ourselves. Through sexual division physically manifested and hard wired in the body, we have the opportunity to serve another who has distinctly different needs, the needs of the female being distinctly different from the needs of the male. However, what needs to be understood, is that this "distinctly different being" is only the deepest part of ourselves. In many way it is what lies at the extreme end of our being buried deep within our nonconscious.

Consciousness awakens consciousness. We need to remember consciousness is able to copy and mimic that on which it focuses. By the masculine focusing on the feminine and the feminine focusing on the masculine, each is capable of becoming the other. By focusing on and serving the needs of another who is distinctly different allows us to better understand what we each need to become and allows us to awaken those comparable aspects of our being. In essence, the masculine must become feminine and the feminine must become masculine and in the process open ourselves to all aspects of Creation.

The opportunity serves our desire to know the conscious and nonconscious aspects of our being and from where that desire originates. Since sexuality is inherent in the human being, it is a desires that extends well past the particular body we have, our ego and/or the society and culture of our incarnation. However, it is only possible to understand this desire when we are outside the enculturated ego and its preferences.

There is nothing wrong with biological preferences for they only enhance the need for the other. The problem is when we serve the needs of the other and we are not serving the true masculine or feminine needs of the other but rather serving the needs of their ego. Hence to truly glean from sexually the experience what is needed we must be outside our enculturated ego and all what we think about how the universe works. Otherwise we ends up serving the ego one way or another. Our reason for inhabiting a human body with sex is only a reflection of our own deepest needs to know ourselves in the reflection of another. It allows us to have before us a focus of our attention and awareness as we would use a mantra or any image of focus. However we each need to transcend the particular form before us and look to the essence of our nature and serve the essence.

Sexuality is to cause and create intimacy with another human being so that each would understand that no one is an island, isolated and separate but all is interconnected. We need that other to awaken part of ourselves that would otherwise remain asleep. Sexuality forces us into intimacy. The most important of which is it is the door way to physical intimacy. It forces us into intimacy with ourselves and intimacy with another at all levels off our being. Here again, on must move past the sexuality and the ego or otherwise they will become trapped.

Related topics
Intimacy in the creativity perspective
A bottom line about sex and our creativity
Sensual experience beyond sex

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