Sexuality should be an expanding experience 

A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic

Copyright 2009 by K. Ferlic,   All Rights Reserved

Background

From the creativity perspective and holding our creativity sacred, the overall thrust of our life should be to live life with a feeling of freedom. This feeling can be described in a variety of ways. It can be best described as a fullness of being, a fullness of life, a blossoming or flowering of our being, and experiencing a feeling of expansion moving toward an experience of, if not into, the infinity of our being. Additionally, this feeling of freedom should accompanied by an inner satisfaction within our being which never runs dry no matter what is happening in our world.

Although it may be difficult for our mind to accept or understand, we experience these feelings simultaneously in that this feeling of freedom is what can be best described as a "package deal." That is, it has multiple aspects and is multidimensional. If we stay present in the moment without focusing our attention and awareness on any one aspect of what we feel, we can find our awareness cycling through or perceiving an experience of each of these feeling. That is, any one description our mind can give to what we feel is inadequate for each of these aspects are present in what we feel simultaneously. Quite simply, the finite nature of our mind is too limited to describe the depth and breadth of what we feel and all its aspects. Rather, our mind characterizes what it experiences based on how it has focused our attention and awareness in how and what it thinks and believes. If we change how and what we think and believe, we will perceive a different aspect of this feeling of freedom.

For those who use feelings to guide their life, most focus on one aspect of this feeling of freedom and use this one aspect as a guide for their life as an internal compass. However, so as to not become captured by the creation/Creation we experience and captured by the mind which created the experience and is characterizing what we experience, each in our own way, should become aware of what allows us to experience the different aspects of this feeling of freedom. In this regard, we each will need to do our own experiments to see how and what we believe and how and what we need to change to experience a different aspect of this feeling of freedom. In looking to experience the different aspects of this feeling of freedom, we can begin to see how our mind limits what we experience. In seeing how our mind limits what we experience, we can being to see what we can do to step out of mind to move deeper into the experience of the feeling of freedom. The deeper we go into this feeling of freedom the more expansive our being seems to become.

This understanding, in turn, gives us a criteria for any experience in life including sexual experiences. Although we can use any aspect of this feeling of freedom described above as an internal compass to guide our life, based on the exploration of our inherent creativity and what has worked best for most individuals, it is recommended we look to see if what we experience is allowing us to experience an expansion within our being. Or, we experience the closely related feeling, a blossoming or flowering of our being.

We all know what a flower looks like when it blossoms as compared to its bud. Within each of us, for any experience we have, we should look to analogous feeling of blossoming. However, a blossoming ends in the blossoming. But, the experience we have should be pointing to, or carrying us into, an expansion of our being.

What this means is the experience we have seems to provide us a door which remains open. The open door tells us there is more to experience in life and in creation/Creation. There is more in which to expand. There is a great depth and breadth to who and what we are than we have experienced to date. It as though we are given a invitation, a Divine Invitation if we wish to call it that, to go deeper into who and what we are. I many ways it leaves a feeling which says, "if you think this is an expanding experience, there is more if you desire to go there."

Sexuality should be an expanding experience

As stated above in the "Background," "This understanding, in turn, gives us a criteria for any experience in life including sexual experiences. Although we can use any aspect of this feeling of freedom described above as an internal compass to guide our life, based on the exploration of our inherent creativity and what has worked best for most individuals, it is recommended we look to see if what we experience is allowing us to experience an expansion within our being. Or, we experience the closely related feeling, a blossoming or flowering of our being."

The criteria for any sexual experience is the experience should give a feeling of expansion. Engaging in sex should be the occasion and an opportunity for both us and our partner to expand into the fullness of their being. The experience of sex should not to rob us of our creative power in and way and should be experienced as an expanding experience.

The key to having the sexual experience being an expanding experience is to have our focus be to move from a beginner’s mind and/or seeking of the physical pleasure to accessing the deeper feelings which enthuse the entire being. Beginners mind allows us to not be bound by previous experiences and previous thinking. It allows us to be open to what is, as it is. It is to move past seeking the physical pleasure. It allows for us to not become caught and bound is the sex and sexuality. If we seek the physical pleasures of sex then we need to focus ourselves to look beyond the physical pleasure of sex as to what else comes with sex.

The goal is to allow the energy to enthuse our entire being. In doing so the doorway is open to allow the sex and sexuality to become an expanding experience to expand into the infinity of our being and/or into a conscious experience of the Source of Creation.

Taming the masculine beast

There is an ancient story/myth relative to taming the masculine beast. It was first heard as reported by the History Channel in its show on the topic "Sex in History" to go back to ancient Babylonia. The story in it essence is as follows.

Outside the gates of the city was a ferocious man-beast. It would kill whomever came out of the city. Nothing the city elders could think of doing calmed this beast or could defeat this beast. The one of the ladies of the city eventually went forth from the city and made love with the beast for six days and made the beast gentle.

To most this is a myth and story. However, observations made in the exploration of our inherent creativity and the observations made relative to sexuality and creativity, this myth is only an attempt to explain and describe a deeper truth about our sexuality. The observed truth about our sexuality is as follows.

The masculine beast is the ego of both the male and female. The mature crone is what is needed to initiate and soften the masculine beast. The mature crone can be found in both males and female as the mature inner feminine. The key to experiencing and using sexuality as an expanding experience is the mature inner feminine. As the inner is reflected in the outer, the key to using sexuality to initiate and soften the male is the mature feminine of a female thrusting out in her own truth. The key to opening the female to step into her power to thrust out into the world in her truth and allow the maturation of her inner feminine is the mature inner feminine of male. So it is vital that the inner feminine of both males and females be allowed to come to maturity.

The problem we face is that as a result of how our creative spirit is thwarted in life and many, if not all, social systems routinely castrate the inner masculine of both males and females at an early age, few are able to do what is necessary to have their inner feminine come to maturity. As a result, the power of sex to calm the masculine beast of the ego cannot be used nor can its power calm the male ego and call forth the true power of the female to act in her truth.

The key to reversing this process is to look to have our sexual relations become an expanding experience for both.

The challenges to be faced is to have the opportunity to love in a way that we have not understood previously such that the sexual experience is an expanding experience for each. It is to experience the muse who can teach us about true love and that it is unconditional. True love is unconditional in that we become what is necessary  to nurture the true needs of the other. Rather than doing what mind wants or what mind thinks it needs to do, we do and become what the creation needs to be properly nurtured. It is to look beyond our perceive limits and barriers as to what the sexual experience is all about. It is about learning to love unconditionally and to live in that world of unconditional love. In essence it is to learn to move past sexuality and the sex into the deeper awareness found in the feeling beyond sex and access the awareness in what we feel.

As discussed in the topic, "What moving past sex looks like," the endpoint for the female to have sex become an expanding experience is to be free to have orgasmic pleasure how and when they wish without the need, requirement, or expectation of satisfying a male. The end point for men is to create the space of freedom for the female. It is to not hold any female or seek to posses them in any ways. It is to understand that unconditional love has no boundaries and limits. To hold someone to meet our expectation or satisfy us in any way is not to give them unconditional love.

The recommendation

The recommendation made here is to become observant and watch to see for ourselves the truth that is stated here. However, to observe it, we must look at how the creative power of the individual grows and their fullness of being grows and/or expand as a result of sex or there is a shrinkage and a loss of life and enthusiasm for life in some way as a result of sex.

This does not mean we have to have sex to make such observations. Although we can engage in sex and observe what we and our partner experiences as a result of the sex we have. We can look at the way we, or they, lose interest in sex or at least sex with them, or it becomes a routine, or we use it to escape life or provide a diversion from life, or we find each engagement in sex and opportunity to grow and expand beyond who and what we were. But we need not do this. We simply have to observe the impacts of sex on the lives of those around us. All of the observations made about sexuality and creativity can be had by simply observing those in our life. Or, we can engage in sex and learn first hand the truth of what is said. It is our choice. We can do it either way or both. But in any case, the recommendation is to make each engagement in sex, even if it the same person after fifty years, an opportunity for the expansion of both.

Related topics
Moving past sex
What moving past sex looks like
A bottom line about sex and our creativity
Sensual experience beyond sex

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