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Using the awareness of the body beyond sexuality
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A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic | |
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Copyright 2008 by K. Ferlic, All Rights Reserved | |
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Using the awareness of the body
beyond sexuality There are two questions which arise around the idea that there is the need to move past sexuality. One is, "What is really to be gained in moving past sexuality?" and the other is, "What does using that body and moving past sexuality look like?" The answer to the first question is information and awareness. The answer to the second is described below. The following is a description and a transcript of the information obtain in using the body and moving past the issue of sexuality. The starting condition for what occurred is as follows. There was the desire to create one or more workshop on the topic of freeing the creative spirit, that is, freeing that which lies in each heart based on the Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity understanding and material. There was, of course, what mind thought needed to be covered and address. What to do there was relatively straight forward. The questions was, "Did the body wisdom and body consciousness have anything to say on the topic?" The process started by exploring what a divination tool had to offer on the topic as background. That is, what was the background relative to our creativity around the desire to create such workshops. A deck of card with creative topics similar to using the creative building blocks as a divination tool was used. In attempting to drawing a card, a card representing the Ultimate Accident fell out of the deck (sort of by accident). The card that was drawn represented Greed. The standard interpretation of the card representing Greed in the deck used was about mind holding to what it knows and wants. It asks "How many lifetimes before enlightenment?" given the fact that mind continually does what it wants to do rather than surrender. This card is in stark contracts to the card the fell out of the deck representing the Ultimate Accident and stumbling into an experience of the Source of Creation. The Ultimate Accident is more about dancing with life and the diversion of creative play than doing what mind wants. It is about working at it in an intense masculine effort characterized by mind versus a more feminine effort of dancing, nourishing and surrendering to being present to what is and allowing it to happen. That is, the Ultimate Accident happens in the dance and diversion of play. However the issue for the workshop was understood not to be about becoming enlightened and/or becoming enlightened. It what freeing the creative spirit to manifest any intention and any creation. The workshop was to be about taking responsibility and actively making happen in a very masculine and mental action - for example in enlightenment, sitting and meditating denying the body and the movement of our creative life energy. However, the Ultimate Accident was about directing attention to allowing the creation to happen in a very feminine nurturing and playful way working with the physical form, being in the body and dancing with the body and its energy into enlightenment. The difference in the approaches are reflected in contracting stories on enlightenment. One story is to sit and meditate through the effort of mind that will take many lifetimes after a long string of focused lifetimes. Nevertheless one gets there because they have worked at it. The other story it so simply dance. Simply dancing without working has as many life times as leaves on the tree to reach enlightenment, except for one thing. Analogous to the way a tree loses it leaves in winter, losing oneself in the dance without worry of the journey, we greatly increase the possibility of experiencing the Ultimate Accident and instantaneously become enlightened. So too with our creations. We can become very focused and intent in our actions and efforts or we can lose ourselves in the dance of Creation and allow the manifestation of our desired creation to happen. So, the background was established to be we have two choice. One is to attend workshops (symbolic of studying) and the like and use the approach where we work at what we desire through a trial and error method till we gain the minimum set of experience to manifest what we desire to create. Or we can have playful workshop were we "play’ our creation into manifestation. Initially the assumption was that the workshops would be loving and embracing and not need to deal with things like people's anger and risk the expression of anger, hate and the like. However, it become clear for individual to realize their creative spirit they needed to face the pain of the past and/or the anger and dissatisfaction they may feel and having previously been thwarted in the free expression of their creative spirit as a child. The fact the workshops must deal with anger and hate does not mean they cannot be fun, playful, loving and embracing. To believe otherwise is only a belief. So the question was how does one access that understanding to create such a workshops - fun, playful, loving and embracing yet deal with pain, anger, hate and other frustration of the past and of life. It was understood that if heart is full of hate. anger, frustration, disappointment, if it is too full with the stuff of ego, we cannot create from the heart and in the love of the heart for there is no space for creation to occur. We need a fertile space for creation to occur. If we wish to create in love and from the heart, we need an open and clear heart. We cannot create in the loving and gentle way of the feminine of the universe if our heart is full. We cannot love if the space is already filled up with hate and anger. In preparing to access the body wisdom and body consciousness, ritually, a candle was lit at the beginning of the process to represent bringing light to the process. Additionally each was naked to symbolically be in the nakedness of truth and to be able to massage any body part necessary and to be able to hold each other to optimize the amount of skin touched. It is here in this process one must be able to move past any feelings of sex to continue the process for as long as it takes. Although sexual stimulation may be appropriate and necessary as part of the process, engaging in sex will destroy the process So the starting question for the body wisdom and body consciousness became, "How do you get the hate and anger out?" The overall generic process to access and use the body wisdom and body consciousness is simple and iterative. It requires the use of feeling at several different levels by two individuals. The first individual is the individual whose body consciousness and body wisdom will be accessed. The other individual (masseur/masseuse) will massage and caress the first individual to both bring the first individual’s attention and awareness to what the body is sensing and to respond to the body consciousness and body wisdom. The process begins as if one were to give a whole massage in a space large enough for both individuals to hold each other and to use body contact as necessary. Both individual focus their attention and awareness on the question to be addressed. The individual whose body is to be accessed lies naked and the other begins to massage and caress the first individual’s body allowing their intuitive guidance to guide their hands. The massaging individual responding to their intuitive guidance to move their hands slowly over the body of the first individual. The first individual looks to see what feelings they have and/or which body parts have sensations whether it be pain, pleasure, heat, cold or whatever. Each part of the body has a symbolism and the type of feeling in the particular body part provides information relative to the question. If a particular body part responses and there is no know symbolism, one can always ask their intuitive guidance the question, "What dos this feeling in _________ represent?" and the wait to see what answer is provided. Additionally they look to see if any thought or images arises. Also, accompanying a particular insight, the individual may access a whole stream of things or even being to tell a story. As the body of the first individual responds to the question begins to die out, the massaging individual can either move their hands to different body parts/sections to see if there are any changes and/or additions to the insights. Or, a new question can be asked and a new answer sought. Similarly, the string can be pulled on any insight which arises. In many ways this process of gently massaging the body puts the first individual into a light trance state. A quite, safe and secure space where the individuals will not be disturbed helps to deepen the level of the nonconscious mind accessed. It is the masseur/masseuse who directs the questioning to the starting intention of the process and to access information during the process. During the whole process the masseur/masseuse continually massages and caresses the entire body moving to those parts that seem to bring forth the insights.. In performing this process in response to the question, "How do you get the hate and anger out?" the following was received. Response: Left neck and shoulder pain. [Symbolism: Shoulder - represents our ability to carry our experiences in life joyously. We make life a burden by our attitude. Can also represent the load we carry. Left is the right side of the brain and our intuitive side. Neck - Refusing to see the other sides of a question. Stubbornness and inflexibility Note: upper back - lack of emotional support, feeling unloved, holding back love.] Image/insight: See so many angry people. Rage. Their eyes are all rounded. Their fingers and hand are held like claws. They are screaming with their mouths open. They call for help. In response to this information, the new question was asked. New question/intention: "what do I need to know/" Response: Itching - lower back, mid region. [Itching - desires that go against the grain. Unsatisfied, remorse. Itching to get out or get away. Lower back, mid region - Back represent the support of life. Middle back problems represents guilt, stuck in all that stuff back there, "get off my back." Lower back - Fear of money, lack of financial support (in today’s world, money is a substitute for energy and passion.] Image/insight: They have been hit from behind. "I’ve been stabbed in my back." They have every right to be angry. They have been stabbed in the back. The one who did it was stabbed in the back too. They only did it to not be stabbed by someone else. It is a spiral. One hand on the shoulder, the other hand with a knife to stab in the back. People have to be paired to express to each other. People have to express what is there. Masseur question: What does it feel like to be stabbed and to stabbed? Where have you been stabbed in life? Response: Itching right thigh [thigh - Legs - It is itchy to live in that state.}Itching - desires that go against the grain, remorse....... Cold Masseur question: Why? Response: Not cold but goose bumps because of my hand. Masseur question: What are they telling you? Response: Moving hand quickly all around - "I am being attacked all over." Being watched. Have to watch yourself all the time from different angles. Have to please everyone outside themselves. Always like eagle eyes who can see far but constantly looking, watching. He provides something to take what he wants, or take something. Warm - heat in the vagina. Either preventing the heat or getting rid of it. Sexuality is life energy. Getting rid of it or suppressing it. Letting it out or using it. People using sexuality to mask anger. They suppress what they feel and use the energy of sexuality to mask the feelings. People using sexuality to feel. Anger does not allow them to feel. They use sexuality to feel and be alive. Why is sexuality in our culture such a big deal right now? They want to feel and that is the only way. Masseur question: Are people so full of anger they only feel by having sex? Response: Yes. Masseur question: Are people so dead they only feel by having sex? Response: Yes. The portion of life we have, we only choose to live a small part of it. That short moment of orgasm because they can’t feel life itself. Masseur question: How does one awaken a body that can only feel in sex? To feel life, to be love and to feel love? Response: Woman have to sew up their vagina. They have to essentially become celibate Masseur question: What do they do while they are closed? Response: They shut down their organ of feeling (the vagina). They take care of the body. Masseur question: How do they do that? Masseur question: Nobody is there to take advantage of them if their vagina is stitched up. They can still have the pleasure of life with no one taking advantage of them. They can still have orgasm if they want. Giving permission is a big deal. It rules people’s lives. Since they were never allowed to give permission, they take it where ever they can. "Mine" and "yours" thinking results from this. Masseur question: What will these women need to do/have to do? Response: Itching right nostril. Grief. They crying. They will have to be allowed to cry. Big right toe - something. Masseur action/comment: [While masseur moving to kiss the toe ] Response: they want to be kissed and loved. Masseur action/comment: That is what my [Masseur’s] intuition said Masseur question: Where do they need to be kissed? Response: Someone one externally, they need to be loved outside of themselves. But the only one who can love is them and love from the inside. Their body needs to be love externally without having to give sexually. But if you can’t love yourself inside, external love won’t work and is damaging. I don’t know if that is for women only. Men don’t want to give. Most men don’t want to give anything. Why they act is for that moment. They give only to have that moment and not out of love. Itching right side pelvis. Itching is an issue. Women don’t trust themselves and other women. But if other women could give feeling..... Itching right side, lower leg. Calf Scratch that. Feels good. What does scratching mean? Feelings, feeling, feels good. Top left knee. Itching. Whole body itchy. Whole body wants to feel. Top left shoulder. It is like you have been touching the center of the nervous system. Right big toe - sensation of needle. Masseur question: What is that needle? Response: Novocaine. Masseur question: Who is doing the anesthetic? Is it part of the treatment or of the past numbing oneself? Response: Past surgery in toe? Masseur question: Why is it speaking of surgery of the past? Response: Numbness for surgery. Want to be kissed. The feeling of the body, the caressing of the body allows the surgery. Love the body. Love on the inside and outside. Allows surgery - surgery to be kissed and feel love. That is to numb them. Masseur question: Then what is the surgery? Response: The surgery is allowing them to be who they need to be. Image/Picture : Front of Y. Y seems to be angry. Left angerly on 18th of Feb. What does that have to do with women? Not happy with marriage but stuck. Thinking about her a lot. Picture going to her house. Seem to make a personal visit. Masseur question: Do people need personal sessions? Response: She is angry. Masseur question: What does this have to do with women? Response: She is angry. You need to meet her personally. She doesn’t do anything for herself. Masseur question: How do you teach her to be responsible and to do for herself? Response: She feels she is very responsible. She does for everyone else. Need to bring to her awareness how much she is doing for others rather than herself. She loves me but I am not clear what to do with her. She has little understanding what to do with me. Masseur question: Look at the problem from the other end. What do you do for her? Response: What do I need to do for her? Anus - holding onto the past. She has constipation problems all the time. Has to deal with letting them let go of their beliefs about themselves. Masseur question: What do you need to tell them? Response: Blowing nose - Masseur question: Iis that part of letting go? Response: Grief we have. Sadness, hate and anger. Allow them to be in their grief. Itching left upper shoulder near shoulder itself. Masseur question: Anything come to mind? Response: Too much to carry on shoulders. Let something go. Put the weight down. Masseur question: Anything else can be said about women? Response: If other women can create the space of love for a women’s body to be nurtured. Holding, massage, its is like being a little girl and mommy taking care of you. Masseur question: Anything else about women? Response: Grieving (blowing nose) It is grief. Has to deal with the coldness. [Candle began making a bunch of noise as it wants to be heard] Has to deal with turning the flame on. Turning the passion on. Coldness is a cover and a mask. Mask is a cover for the warmth and the passion. Melding the cold and allowing the flame to flicker. Allow the flame out. Flame want to be lit. Wants to melt the cold. Want to live in passion. Masseur question: What does the body want to tell you about men? Response: Nobody loves them. They are not accepted for what they are. They are wanted for security and safety or a tool for entertainment, diversion, helping the mundane of life to go by. Even for the women who are aware. They cannot accept the men for who they are. They have to change them. Masseur question: How did one create all of this? How come nobody accepts the other for who they are? Response: I remember as I was talking to the Egyptian lady. She was very upset with management because of her behavior she is unacceptable. Her energy is different than these other people and they have no understanding of her. She must be like them to be acceptable there or she must go somewhere else. She must be acceptable to them and be like them or she has to suppress herself. Her energy is different than the people she is with. She must become like them or be thrown out. Masseur question: Is that the problem of men? Response: How come no one can accept the other as they are - because if they are not same, they must either be acceptable or must leave. If they are not like them, they are not acceptable. They must be themselves elsewhere. Masseur question: What happens when people deny themselves to be acceptable? Response: They shrink, they become smaller and smaller and eventually not worthy of anything. Is this what has happen to people over life times and why we have so many people who seemingly can’t understand? - is this what is meant by reincarnating into a lower form? Masseur question: What needs to be done for men? Response: Something around corner of your nails. Felt scratch or sharpness on breast. Some times they come across sharp. Masseur question: What about the breast? They don’t nurture or do they cause the nurturing to be pulled away because it is sharp? Response: Referencing a recent conference. How can people just...lets not talk about love, lets hold each other. Doesn’t matter about man or women. They just need to be held for who they are whatever body they are in. Masseur question: It is about being held and nurtured? It is about allowing the person to be who they are" Response: If someone isn’t willing to change, to give the space to allow another to be free what does that force people to do? It kills them. You deny your truth or you would be dead. Kill them or separate. I did what I had to do. Masseur question: What was that? Response: Hold the space for the person to grow up. People need to grow up. To realize another needs to be loved. I did exactly what I had to do for him [reference a past acquaintance]. Masseur question: For him to do what? Response: To grow up. Masseur question: In what regard? Response: To realize another person wants to be cared for and loved? Not only caring about one’s self. Masseur question: Describe what growing up would look like? Response: Not to be so much self centered and want for himself. There is something else outside of him. Masseur question: So what comes to you? Response: He is enjoying himself. He is pretending he is enjoying himself. So these men tend to pretend they are enjoying themselves but they don’t allow themselves to be who they want to be so they are angry. Masseur question: Men tend to be angry and hide it? Response: It is the first and most characteristic - anger Masseur question: How do you see men getting this anger out and getting past it? What do they need to do? Response: To be open about the anger and admit it. To talk about it and share it with each other and not it is not something shameful and hidden. Know that in a way it is an expression of love - learning to love what is inside you. Masseur question: What does the workshop look like? What is happening in the workshop? Response: First people screaming, to cry, whatever. Masseur question: What does the workshop look like? Response: My eyes were feeling rush of energy to corner of my eyes near the bridge of the nose. [Grab nose near eyes and finger on third eye -new yogic image?] Masseur question: Do you see people holding there noes like this as part of a yoga exercise? Response: I feel something - I didn’t see that. Masseur question: What does the energy look like? Does it have to do with the third eye - has to deal with seeing with the third eye? Response: Have the third eye. Bring the eyes together to see with the third eye. See what lies behind their anger. Bring the focus of the eyes up behind the eyes to the third eye to see what lies behind the anger. New yogic technique. Need to have initiation for that -[Jokingly but may be some truth to that.] Masseur question: What does it look like in workshop? Response: Crying, feeling, crying while they talk. [In responding she open her legs] Masseur question: [After she has open her legs] What is the equivalent exercise of spreading your legs to become vulnerable.? Response: To share their most intimate secret with something they choose to trust. The exercise is, each person needs to look inside the room and pick the person they feel is most trustworthy to share an intimate story. If more than one person picks some person may have to wait or go to someone else. Masseur question: Is this the exercise? Think intimate and vulnerability. What is the exercise? Response: To be able to lean on another’s shoulder. To lean on each other. Have each other as a support. Masseur question: Describe the exercise. Response: Being vulnerable, exposing yourself. First it was - [unwilling to say} what? [encouraged to say} To ask them to take off their shirt, their top as much as they want to take off. I can’t do that Masseur question: Can you ask them to take of an article of clothing.? Response: Layered like a mask. The dryness - too dry. It is going to hurt. Have to moisten it before going there. Have to massage them before you ask them to take something off. One was to share with the people who are there. Vulnerability and layer of clothing. Each workshop a successive layering. Reflective of what has to happen. An article of clothing for each successive workshop. Shoes, sox, blouse, pants, bra, panties, sitting fully open exposed [to seven layers] Men analogous to women. They have to do the same work. This is where the exercise ended. What was revealed cause the whole approach that was being considered for the workshop to be reassessed. To massage an individual is literally and symbolically open them to feeling. It was decided more work needed to be done to figure out how to make it safe to get individuals open to feeling and into the awareness in the body and to be able to access the awareness in what we feel. This exercises ultimately become the input for the two approaches to creating a gentle phoenix to access the intention for our life and/or the depth and breadth of unlimited creativity. Related topics
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