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Many spiritual and religious
traditions talk about the need for rebirth. Often within these
traditions, the goal of rebirthing is to get an individual to live a
more “spiritual” or “religious” life as seen by the tradition. A
life closer in alignment with God in whatever way God is perceived.
Many of these traditions have created rebirthing rites, ceremonies,
initiations and/or rights of passage to achieve this end.
Whenever someone undergoes a significant change in life there will
some type or kind of rebirth in some aspect of their life. There is
wide spread recognition of the need for a rebirthing when an
individual leaves behind their old way of being in the world and
choosing a new way whatever it may be. The rebirthing is perceived
as something we can do of our own choosing. As such, there are also
many social and societal rituals, ceremonies, initiations and the
like that are performed to encourage the rebirth, symbolize it
and/or otherwise make it happen.
However, the rebirth that occurs for a creative endeavor
where one enters the unknown anticipating what needs to be
reborn is not something that mind can do. Actually it is the
reverse. One must step out of mind and all of their enculturation
and programming. That is where the rebirthing process begins. How it
unfolds is both unique to the individual and to what they desire to
create. There will be similarities with the experience of others but
what actually occurs will be unique. The rebirthing is achieved by
surrendering to what needs to occur within one’s life to create what
is desired rather than fighting necessary changes with mind.
A question of time locked
rebirth
What was puzzling about the
author’s experience was there clearly was a form of rebirthing
experienced by the author. Although the author did act to change is
life and there were conscious decisions on his part the rebirthing
seemed more to be a time capsule like phenomenon parts of which had
nothing to do with what he choose to do. It was as thought something
was being awakened and released at a predetermined point in time
directing him to a path that has been chosen long ago. It was more
of coming back into alignment to do what he set out to than a
rebirth based on what he was choosing to create. As described here
and in the discussion, “The
Time Capsule - Second Mystical Experience of Memory,” there are
aspects of the author’s life that appear as thought it is time
locked. However, it was perceived, there was a rebirthing
experience.
What the author has gleaned from his experience and the observance
of others, it appears when the time comes there will be a rebirth
whether we want it or not. All we need to do is to surrender to it
when it happens. But we still have to choose to allow it to happen.
Additionally, we can make our life much easier all along by learning
to follow our
internal compass instead of mind. In we have learned to follow
our internal compass, then the dramatic shifts that many appear to
undergo in the rebirthing process that some experience a as a
dark night of the soul never need to occur. If we live our whole
life following our internal compass and what provides a fulness to
life, we will know where we need to be when we need to be there. If
we follow our mind we risk moving far off course. We may move so far
off that recovery is not possible to meet the intention for our
life.
The author has found that when an individual is “called
forth” from an inner call (much like the author experienced as
discussed in "The
Calling") or some one is willing to call forth their creative
spirit and they surrender to that spirit, a rebirthing will happen
to the individual. The individual doesn’t have to try and do
anything to rebirth. It happens of itself. As that awaken
consciousness which is called forth becomes integrated with the
individual’s life, they simply being to live different. All they
need to do is to pursue the call that has been made. The rebirthing
is not something that can be planned or controlled. In many ways the
rebirth that does occurs is only how the Universe demonstrates to
you that you are becoming different and entering a new life as a
result of the call.
Although
the
author received an inner call, it was actually years before he
surrendered to the spirit which was called forth. Rather, the author
acted as his mind understood he should respond. There was no
awareness or need for surrender. It was only when he choose to
follow the spirit which was called forth that the rebirthing
started. Yet it was not something that happened quickly. It took
time. It took more time than one would anticipate.
It was about eight months before his father, who was in semi
comatose state for several years, died that the author consciously
decided he needed to follow what was his own path in life. His
choice was to follow his path no matter what he was enculturated and
programmed to follow, no matter what the cost. Up to that time, he
always tried to satisfy those in authority in his life with out
regard for what his
intuitive guidance provided. But at the time he was unaware of
exactly what that meant. Within two months he experienced the
Ultimate Accident. His conscious decision to follow his own path
was just part of
creating that critical mass of experience necessary for the
Ultimate Accident.
It was stated in the narrative “The
recovery of a creative spirit” that: Within days of the
Ultimate Accident, during what he thought was a routine vision to an
empathic, intuitive, osteopath, he was told in a somewhat surprised
tone by the osteopath “Your head is not connected to your body.”
As described in this narrative the author choose to address this
condition by undergoing a shamanic
soul retrieval. During the first visit with the individual who
would eventually do the soul retrieval in January 1996 the
individual said that the author had made an agreement with his
father that he would not start his work until the died. The
individual then immediately asked the author "Where are the dog tags
that you used to play with as a child, I can see them in your
hands." The dog tags were that dog tags this his father wore in
World War II. Dog tag were two metal identification tags worn around
the neck of US soldiers and sailors in World War II. They contained
limited medical information if the individual was wounded. The idea
of two was that if the individual was killed in combat, one tag
would remain with the body and the other would be taken by the
presiding officer to report their death.
The issue with the dog tags reflected why the author’s father was in
the war. As stated in the narrative “The
recovery of a creative spirit”: World War II did have a
very significant impact on the author’s psyche as a child. Although
born after the war, his life was impacted by those in the war. The
dog tags which the child held onto were symbolic of what his father
lost in the war - his innocence. The lost innocence was not so much
in fighting the war and the enemy. Rather it was an the innocence
about those who stayed behind and used the system for their
advantage. It was about those who stayed out of military service and
capitalized on the sacrifice of others.
The author’s father lived his life in service to others. The
author’s father lived in service to his parents, his siblings, his
wife, his family, his church and his country. He always put the
needs of others before his own even at the expense of his own life.
In the process, the creative spirit of the author’s father never was
able to do what it wanted to do. It was always suppressed to meet
the needs of others.
As a child, a part of the author was very aware of this fact. In
honoring this aspect of his father, the deeper aspect of the author
knew that the life he was to lead would ultimately be against the
values of his father. It could be said that to honor his father and
the values held by his father, a deeper part of the author agreed
not to start his work until his father’s death. Yet, the author’s
conscious awareness was not, and is not aware of any such agreement.
However, he was very much aware of how much is father gave to other
people at his own expense.
The
Ultimate Accident occurred about six months before the death of
his father. In some ways the author wonder’s whether a part of him
decided that since his father was in a comatose type state, there
was no point to waiting till he died. Or, the author simply felt he
could no longer wait and needed to act. If asked, the author would
probably say he could wait no longer.
The issue as to whether or not the author agreed to wait until his
father death to choose to live his truth, can be disputed and
depends on the story you choose to tell. However, there definitely
appears to be a timing to the thing we experience. For the author,
it doesn’t really matter what story we tell and/or wish to create,
the author did not start to fully follow his own internal guidance
until about the time of his father’s death. The author’s path is
quite different than what his father would, or could, understand.
But honoring his father is not the real issue. The issue is free
will and how we do and don’t give ourselves permission to live the
intention for our life and what excuses we give for not doing so.
Or, are the excuses just the reasons we give when we can’t act
because that timing does not allow it. . Most of us are enculturated
not to live the intention for our life yet we must choose to access
it and follow it. There are those who, like the author, choose not
to follow it because it is so different than the societal structure
of his parents. But, if and when you do choose to access it, you
will be reborn and your life will change. But it is not your
conscious mind’s choice of timing. The timing is more inherent in
the process.
The rebirthing
About two months after the
Ultimate Accident in February 1996 the author made a visit seem
his parents. During that visit, he has a conversation with his
mother about how he was going to live differently as a result of the
experiences he had. In many ways the author’s mother seemed somewhat
understanding when he told her that he was going to live
differently. Of course, she did not know exactly to what the author
was referring.
That night he had a vivid dream. In the dream he exhumed a body from
the grave and kissed its feet. It was place in an ambulance and it
was taken to the hospital to do an autopsy on the cadaver to
determine the cause of death. At that time the author thought the
dream was revolting but yet he was somehow very comfortable with it.
He knew the cadaver was somehow himself but he did not understand
exactly what it meant at the time.
What the author came to realize in time that the dream was symbolic
of a process that had begun. He realized the dream reflected how his
creative spirit was being taken out of the grave. In essence his
creative spirit was kill and put into a grave. It was now taken out
to be reborn. Yet to give life the cause of death needed to be
understood other wise it could not be revived. It was killed because
of how author lived his life to meet the agreements of his parents
and the society in which he was raised and denied his own truth. Yet
he did not know what his truth was.
Since is father was about ready to die the author began to act. In
kissing the feet of the cadaver, there was respect and love for the
path that was traveled up to that point in time even thought the
creative spirit of the author was essentially put into an early
grave.
What began with the Ultimate Accident was a recovery and
resurrection process. It was the beginning of a rebirthing process.
As symbolized in the dream, an autopsy was performed on the cadaver
to see why it died. In correcting those conditions, life could be
restored. The restoration of life was what was in progress. The
dream of exhuming the cadaver was not the only dream during this
rebirthing process. There were the
dreams of building a bridge between distant shores and a dream
that ultimately lead to the realization of the energetic aspects of
creative power inherent in sexuality.
Here a quick notes needs to be made on dreams. At one time the
author was of the opinion that dreams were probably nothing more
that the mind processing and sorting itself after a day’s activity.
But then he began to notice some dreams has a “staying power.” That
is, memory of the dream persisted beyond what you would consider
normal. Quite simply, either they would be remembered the next
morning or they caused the author to awaken from his sleep so that
he would remember the dream. This causes him to pay attention to the
dreams that persisted.
He found he did not have to practice recording his dreams as often
recommended. Rather he simply knew that if the dream persisted in
the morning or it awoke him from sleep, then he needed to pay
attention to the information contained in the dream. He also
understood the dream may be symbolic although a few were literal. He
realized he needed to look to what they dream could be symbolizing
much the way he was learning to use is intuitive guidance.
Additional, he found he could “seed” his dreams and catalyze what
information they could surface. He simply needed to focus his
attention and awareness on the question he desired answered before
he went to sleep. He then needed to be mindful and aware as to what
dreams occurred or lied in his awareness when he awoke. .
In time he started to play attention to what was occurring in his
life and the intentions held. He began to see the dreams were much
like the thoughts we have and how our intuition works. The thoughts
we have appear to be random. Yet if you watch them and become
observant it is as thought the thoughts are tagged as to their
origins. They will also be clumped as to what is happening in one’s
life and are related to what one is choosing on which to focus their
attention and awareness. So too the dreams. He began to see the
dreams were tied to the intentions he held and they were revealing
and carrying information relative to those attentions. He just
needed to become mindful and aware of what was entering his life.
In time, the author began to realize the occupation he was in no
longer suited the intention for his life. He was being pulled to
look to see how to protect the creative spirit. The
Ultimate Accident allowed him to realize it resided in each
individual. He now looked to see how to release that spirit and
create a safe and secure space so that it could grow and unfold true
to itself. Although much was happening, external evidence of the
rebirthing had yet to come. .
About two years after the
Ultimate Accident there were several experiences that occurred
that quite clearly demonstrated the rebirth of the author. About a
year after of the Ultimate Accident, the author was continuing his
exploration of psychics and what they were capable seeing. One of
the them said, “Don’t worry about your heart - they will be working
on your heart.” Over the next year, usually about 5:00 PM there
would be an oppressive heaviness in his chest. Often all he could do
would be to go to sleep for a while and allow it to pass. Eventually
the feelings stopped and only returned very infrequently.
About that time the feelings in the chest subsided two things
happened. One was he started to bleed from his naval. He could
provided you a logical reason as to what he thinks was the cause of
the bleeding but he knew it was about a rebirth. It was about a new
life that was emerging. It was one of the events that eventually
prompted him to create an
omphaloskepsis exercise (meditation on the naval) to accompany
the discussion on the
Meditation Concepts and Principles for Creativity web site. He
laughed when it happened and wondered what else was going to happen.
Well, something else did happen.
Late one night about 1:30 AM he received a frantic phone call from
one of the psychics with whom he had worked. She said that “They are
going to replace your heart with a crystal.” The author, half
asleep, then asked, “Who is going to do this?” She said, “God will,”
and then offered what she understood what should be done based on
her tradition. He refused and figured that if God was going to do
it, no help was needed. It would happen as the natural course of
things.
What the author found rather fascinating about these experiences is
the question as to whether they were reflective of a rebirthing
experience outside his control or he created a rebirthing
experiences based on what he understood happened in
shamanic experiences. The author had done quite a bit of reading
on shamanism and their experiences. So when he bleed from the naval,
that was not a total surprise. In fact the author took it as
confirmation that changes were happening. Similarly when called to
be told a crystal would replace his heart, he realized that was
quite common in the shamanic experience except that it usually
occurred in a dream or vision. What did surprise him was the pain in
the heart area for about a year. That want’s in any of the shamanic
literature.
What is interesting about the rebirth experience was that it was
only what the author needed to seen and experience outwardly to know
what he was experiencing as real. That is, by having experiences
typical of a shaman, he mind could embrace that he had the wisdom
associated with the shaman or, rather, accessible by the shaman.
Since the shamanic experience it unique, there is no set experience
a shaman has, but there are common or “traditional” elements that
seem to cut across cultures. Experiencing the types and kinds of
experiences some shamans have allowed the author’s mind to accept
the mystical world was his world. As stated in the discussion on the
mystical path, the author never saw the mystical world as his world.
So unless there was something out of the ordinary in some way that
to which he could point, his mind just did not have a context for
accepting and embracing mystical events.
In many ways his mind is no different than many of the people with
whom he worked and coached. They have mystical experiences in their
life that are actually quite powerful. But their mind is unable to
view them as such because they have no context for accepting it.
Most do not realize the mystical side or aspect that we have. The
mystical aspects of our life are always there running as a deep
undercurrent guiding our life. The question is whether or not we are
willing to consciously surface what it provides to our life.
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