|
|
Who leads in sex and does it matter?
|
|
A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic | |
|
Copyright 2008 by K. Ferlic, All Rights Reserved | |
| RYUC Home Why free? Contact Links Programs/services Contributions | |
|
Who leads in sex and does it
matter? There is a phenomenon that as been observed about sex that most do not see. It is related to who leads in sex. To ask the question, "Who lead in sex?" most will think about whether or not the male or female leads. However, the male or female leading is not to whom or to what this question refers. Rather it is about whether the masculine or feminine leads and it does not matter if that masculine or feminine leading is in the male or female. It has been observed that sex lead by the feminine makes the mind soft and gentle. Sex lead by the masculine makes the heart hard. Or, alternatively said, sex lead by the feminine cause mind to be willing to step aside and allow one to become open to feeling. Sex lead by the masculine causes the heart to shut done and close our ability to feel and be truly responsive to the needs of another. This, of course, means that sex lead by the feminine makes us vulnerable. Sex lead by the feminine makes us vulnerable to feeling the pain and suffering of another or others. It opens the door to empathy and compassion. Sex lead by the feminine is about sex lead by the heart and our creative spirit. Sex lead by the masculine is about sex lead by the mind and the need for mind to be in control and get what it wants. Many may not agree with what is said here. But, in general, little attention is paid as to whether the masculine or feminine is leading in any sexual relationship and one must look close to see it. However, most never get past their own thinking about being a male and female and the associated issues to see the roles of the masculine and feminine. Nor do most ever get past their past programming about sex and what sex means. As a result, most relationships are at best an amicable self serving masculine and masculine dance. Most enter sex based on their mental understanding and not based on what their creative spirit desires to create. If people did enter sexual relationships truly lead by the heart and our creative spirit, people would be having an entirely different type of discussion about sex, marriage, and when to engage, and not engage, in sex. The recommendation made here is to become observant and watch to see for yourself the truth that is stated here. However, to observe it, we must look at what happens to the creative powers of the individual. We must look to see if their creative powers grow and their fullness of being is free to grow and/or expand as a result of sex. Or, is there a shrinkage and a loss of life, loss of an enthusiasm for life in some way or withdrawal from life in some way. Although evidence of this phenomenon readily exists if we are willing to look closely at what we are really seeing as the result of sexual relations between individuals, the awareness of this phenomenon did not register with the author until he heard what was reported to be an ancient Babylonian story. After hearing the story, he started to look more carefully at what he was really seeing in the relationships of people. The story goes as follows. There was a beast which existed outside the gates of Babylon that terrified the city’s inhabitants. Any man that when went out to fight the beast was either killed or severely wounded. Nothing seem able to defeat it. Everyone was afraid of it. But then, one of the city’s women with very unrespectable reputation, a whore if you wish, said she knew how to deal with the beast. Naturally, all the men laughed. Nevertheless the lady of ill repute, went out to face the beast. After a week of passionate love making, the beast was tame and become very gentle. Although many will want to dismiss this story, consideration need to be given to the fact that many traditions that are masculine orientated emphasize celibacy or at least abstinence of sexuality before any type of competitive activities where a strong male edge is needed. Why is that? Is there something real that sex can do or is it simply an old folktale? We are not talking here about the issue of a long term marriage or relationship where there may be children and the male is preoccupied with caring for a family. Rather, it is simply about having sexual relationship with a female. It is well know that males can, and do, dominate females and take what they want pumping up their ego. So it would at first seem that if the male was dominating a female, he would in no way be soften or weakened. Yet, many traditions look to celibacy or abstinence before any event requiring a strong male presence. Why is that? The issue is whether or not the sex become lead by the feminine as opposed to the masculine. There is the fear that if a male engages in sex lead by the feminine he will become soft. And the truth of the matter is, it is true. But so too the female. Her mind will soften too and her heart too will open. To be lead by the feminine and the heart (Top) To understand what happens and why this occurs, it needs to be remembered that the feminine aspect of creation/Creation is what nurtures and nourished the true needs of a creation. The feminine aspect of our being is what nourishes life and is symbolized by the heart but is embodied in our whole being and what we feel. Creative power and the power to act arises from what we feel. When we are open to feeling we can feel and see the true needs of a creation. Being open to feeling allows us to nourish the true needs of a creation and not give what mind wants to give. We give what is required to be given to meet the need. It is this point that causes the softening. To nourish the true needs of a creation we must be out of mind and be willing to surrender to what is require. The action of surrendering softens the mind. It causes the mind to realize that what it thinks and believes may not be correct. It begins to dismiss the past and look to see what is really needed in a situation. That awareness, of looking to see what is really needed in a situation is literally and figuratively disarming. One cannot fight in the realization what they do is not really helping the situation. It softens the mind’s thinking that it is right. It opens the door to maybe there are alternatives that it has not yet explored and there is the need to look for them. At one level, since the mind is disarmed and is unwilling to fight it become very vulnerable. Yet there is a profound strength in this vulnerability. It can nourish in the way nourishment needs to be provided from the deepest levels of being. In that nourishment, a creation is free to grow and unfold true to itself. That kind of nourishment only brings life. It bring life from the deepest levels of being. In becoming vulnerable we do become open to the pain and suffering of others for we see where their needs are not met and from where the pain arises. We can literally and figuratively feel their pain. We begin to see what is truly needed to alleviate the pain. But we must first become aware of the pain and suffering to look to she where something that is needed is not being provided. Sex lead by the feminine means the individual, whether male or female, looks to see what is needed by the other. They do not push what their mind wants but look to see how the other needs to nourished and what they need to feel. When the needs of the other are met, they begin to take down their defenses and all the response patterns they developed in life to protect what little they had and to get what they need. It is here they begin to experience an abundance and loose the need to take from others, to fight and to defend. In essence, their needs are met and they become fulfilled. There is a calmness and gentleness that permeates their being. To be lead by the masculine and the mind (Top) The masculine aspect of creation is what thrusts out into creation. It is both literally and figuratively embodied in the mind. What we think and believe is what causes us to thrust out into Creation in response to what we think and believe. In this sense, we are caught in a never ending cycle. We think and believe something so we respond to the world based on what we think and believe. That response then influences what we think and believe only to cause us to respond again. The cycle goes on and on. The cycle is never broken unless we consciously move to act in response to what we feeling regardless of what our mind thinks, believes and judges about what we do. It is the fact that we respond based on what our mind thinks that our heart hardens. The more we are in our mind and look to get what mind wants, the less we are open to what we feel. Thinking can be an addiction in order not to feel. Avoiding what we feel becomes a habit. Sex lead by the masculine is about sex lead by the mind and the need for mind to be in control and get what it wants. It may seek sex in order to feel life and feel alive but mind is not open to feeling for it will lose control. It seeking to get what it wants, mind cannot be open to the needs of another. Quite simply it is too busying and preoccupied with getting what it wants, even the feeling of sex, to think and/or feel about another. It will think about another only to the extent the other can give it what it wants. A mind focused on its needs and wants cannot see the needs of another. It is looking in the wrong direction to see the needs of another. How most engage in sex with the masculine in the lead and why (Top) What needs to be understood is that most engage in sex being lead by the masculine. Whether male or female, most individuals seek to have what they desire met. Or, if the we are acting not to have our needs and desires met, we are acting because of how we think we need to act based on what is expected of us or how we have been programmed to act. Most of our desires are not for the freedom, nourishment and free unfoldment of the other. Most only care for another as long as our needs are meet or we full what is expected of us. We see the other as a vehicle to have and/or get what we need and want. What needs to be understood, giving oneself to another for reasons other than to truly nourish their true needs is to be lead by the mind in some way in spite of whatever our mind tells us. Of course, to give and never have our needs met, we drain ourselves and serve no one. The key is to learn to dance. Dance in a way that our needs are met and we meet and nourish the needs of the other. The problem we all face is the one to whom we give ourselves to nourish their needs may not be the individual who can nourish our needs. So, most of us ending up looking to take what we need from someone who is not really in a position to give to us. That, in turn, only continues the cycle of taking from another and allowing the mind and the masculine to lead. We each are faced with the choice of breaking the cycle or continuing it. Where or not it is worth the effort to break the cycle and allow the feminine to lead is a choice we can all make. The only comment that can be provided relative to our choice is that it is the feminine which nourishes life. The question is where or not there is a life we wish to nourish. If there is, allow the feminine to lead. If not, then continue to allow the mind and the masculine to lead. Related topics The Password Protected Area provides access to all currently posted (click for current loading) Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity related discussion files and applications. |
|
|
RYUC Home Why free? Contact Links Programs/services Contributions | |
