Sexuality and consciousness awakening consciousness

A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic

Copyright 2008 by K. Ferlic,   All Rights Reserved

In understanding how consciousness awakens consciousness it is appropriate to note how sexuality provides one of the most powerful vehicles with which to explore an awareness of one’s being It can awaken parts of oneself we didn’t know we had and it can be similarly used to awaken parts of another.

It is well know that sexuality is necessary for reproduction and that it is enjoyable for many people. However, little attention is paid to how it awakens consciousness and reveals parts of ourselves we did not know we had. As a minimum, sexuality, whether one engages in it or not, forces one to awaken to face the fact and understanding that no one is a island unto themselves. The pull of sexuality forces one to face the fact we are in this human experience with others and we need to engage another if the human experience is going to continue. But there are two deeper roles in sexuality awaking consciousness. One is awakening to the biases, judgments and preferences of our mind and part of our being of which we were unaware. The second, which in many ways is a subset of the first, is awakening our body consciousness.

Awakening to the biases, judgments and preferences of our mind and part of our being of which we were unaware is discussed here. Sexuality and awakening body consciousness is discussed in the topic of the same name, "Sexuality and awakening body consciousness."

This topic actually build on the understand that consciousness awakens consciousness. Although it is not necessary to have read and understood the topic, "Consciousness Awakens Consciousness" it is recommended that it be read before moving on to this current topic.

Considerations of sexuality and consciousness awakening consciousness

Consciousness awakens consciousness and each experience an individual has with another provides an opportunity to awaken oneself and the other individual. Or, because we reject the experience we have, we can put ourselves to sleep and become unaware. We each are an observer observing our creation. It is in our creation that we see before us and what we experience in life. It is in this creation that we observe who and what we are.

Creativity is the language of consciousness. What we create speaks to us and to those around us. Often it speaks of things in our nonconscious mind of which we are not consciously aware. In many ways what we create is making our nonconscious mind conscious. We only need to observe what it is being communicated to us by learning to listen to our bodies and the feelings it in what we experience. We simply need to understand our body is one of the more sensitive tools we have as to see exactly what our creation is communicating.

The individual’s focus during and about sex

Most human sexuality is driven by a mixture of biology and a creative act by consciousness. It is just that more often than not, humans tend to see the physical offspring as the desired creation or physical pleasure rather than the new energetic life that comes with the sexuality. If one is able to be mindful and aware of what they feel before, during and after sexuality, and observe the flow of energy within their being, they will know from where the energy originates and what is the desired offspring. In this regard, sexuality can be used for awakening consciousness for as consciousness awakens, there is the creation of a new or different flow of energy. However, most do observer the flow of energy. Most only pay attention to the feelings and never look to see where the energy is actually flowing or originating.

Relative to the issue of focus, from a creativity perspective the sex organs of the body are neither male nor female. The male organ, as the female organ, can be used in a masculine way or a feminine way. This is an extremely important point. The body, as the sex organs, are tools for an experience. They of themselves are only cells and tissues arranged to perform a biological function no different that the brain, the eye or the ear. The masculinity and femininity arise in how they are used.

Sex and the feelings it creates

It is well know that sexuality is necessary for reproduction and that it is enjoyable for many people for the feeling it creates. However all sexuality experiences are not pleasurable. But, it can be said all sexuality experiences create deep feelings.

Within the energy consciousness understanding, consciousness is seen to awaken in, or as a result of, a flow of energy. Without a flow of energy there is nothing for consciousness to observe. Without a flow of energy and no movement, consciousness has no way of knowing if it awake and gone to sleep or has stayed away and not observed any movement.

Feelings arise as a result of the flow of energy we sense. The more we are open to feeling we literally expand our awareness. Expanded awareness, in turn, provides a greater depth and breadth to what we experience. The greater awareness we have the fewer experiences we need to get that minimum set of experience we need to characterize whatever we experience. There are two reason for this. One is any experience we have is experienced to a greater depth and breadth covering a much greater "range" of experiences for it underlies numerous more shallow experiences.

The second is the greater depth and breadth of an experience also allows us to see beyond the obvious and deeper into what is giving rise to the experience and into the unfoldment of the experience. It is not about seeing into the past and into the future although some will interpret it that way. Rather it is seeing the cause which gives rise to the effect and the consequences and outcomes of the effect that is experiences. With expanded awareness one is able to see the unfolding process.

Sexuality is capable of creating great flows of energy within an individual accompanied by phenomenal feelings of great depth. In fact, it can give rise to some of the greatest passions an individual will every feel and some of the deepest and most profound insights that are possible. Some have seen into the Source of Creation and provide the bases of such practices as Tantra. As such, sexuality is naturally and inherently capable of awakening consciousness within oneself or another.

If one is able to discern and lock onto a particular feeling and then follow that feeling to dissipation, one can begin to experience the creative/creation process for what it is. It may be for only a short time and the particular flow of energy one follows may not gives rise to the depth and breadth of what is possible in a creative flow, the flow can nevertheless give one an understanding for the overall process. In knowing the overall process, one can look at any one process and see where the point of observation lies relative to the overall process. Then in looking at a variety of creations in this manner, one can begin to discern what exactly the creative/creation process looks like. One only need to place their focus on the awareness available in the flow of energy that is unfolding. One can use the deep feelings that arise in sex to practice learning to discern what is felt and follow the flow to dissipation.

The goal can be to use the feelings of sexuality to open oneself and to open another to the awareness of feeling so as to learn to know how to respond and which decisions to make to manifest what lies in their heart to create. That is, to get them more into an intuitive and feeling space to become open to knowing and seeing beyond the obvious.

In this regard, sexuality can be used as a powerful tool for awakening another. If one is open to what they feel and experience, they will find sexuality creates the space to cause one to become very intimate with themselves and their partner not only physically but at each and every level of their being. However, becoming intimate at any level of being is not guaranteed or even ensured. One need to have focused their attention and awareness to becoming open to becoming intimate. It is when we become intimate with ourselves we can discover parts of ourselves we could otherwise not access.

Sex and mixing energy

The whole basis for physical sexuality is to mix genetic material to ensure the survivability of the species. Energetically there is a parallel mixing of energy whether or not there is a physical mixing of gene. Sexual intimacy with someone causes the energies of each to mix more intensely. Energetically, we become a part of them and they become a part of us. This then controls our creative life energy in two ways. One way is we take on a part of them and that part of them which we take on may or many not free our energy to create what we desire. They may simply act as a parasite sucking our energy rather than allowing the creative life energy to freely flow into our desired creation.

Now, relative to an energy consciousness perspective, we can look at the mixing which occurs in sexuality as us taking on a part of the other person’s energy. Or, we can simply see it as consciousness creating an experience to awaken consciousness such that each awakens an aspect of consciousness in the other that is currently asleep or dormant. That awakened consciousness now look like we absorbed or took on a part of the other’s energy. Either way we look at it is fine for the end result is the same. Similarly, this awaken consciousness can be experienced as a new life within us. Here gain, how we view it is our choice.

Sex and getting to know that which is different

The human being is a social animal simply because creation/Creation is not done alone and we need to know ourselves through the reflection of another. Additionally, within each is the inherent desire to find that playmate the consciousness within, or behind, Creation seeks. Sexuality allows for opportunities that otherwise could not be possible. Through sexual division and procreation, one has the opportunity to serve another who had distinctly, if not profoundly, different needs. The needs of the female being are distinctly different from the needs of the male.

To become aware of the true needs of a member of the opposite sex, forces us to look an aspect of being we have no reason to otherwise address. Yet in this process if we are open to understanding those needs, it allows us to more readily access that corresponding part of our own being. We each have inner masculine and an inner feminine and the relationship of each gets reflected externally. If a feminine individual (not necessarily male or female but a feminine being) comes to truly understand the needs of a masculine being and gives herself that same attention to the masculine within her own being, she will develop the masculine aspects of her being and become more quickly balanced in her masculinity to become whole. The same is true for a masculine individual (again, not necessarily male or female). The masculine individual in truly understanding a feminine being and giving himself the same attention to the feminine within his being, he will develop his feminine aspects of being more quickly and similarly become balanced and whole.

In this regard, sexuality is a true gift for our own inner development. It offers a path to the quickest way to become whole within ourselves. However to do so, we focus our attention and awareness on learning the true needs for our sexual partner and apply those lessons learned to our inner masculine - inner feminine relationship. It is to use the awareness of the needs of the opposite and use that understanding to nourish the needs of that aspect that lies within our being.

That is, we can step into our masculine aspect and use the understanding of the needs of the feminine being we experience externally to teach us how we need to nurture the feminine within our own being. For example, we can clean the inner feminine needs to be loved for who she is and not what she is or can provide or that she will cared for and nurture any offspring we create..

Similarly, we can step into our feminine aspect and use the understanding of the masculine of the masculine being we experience externally to teach us how we need to nurture the masculine within our own being. For example, the inner masculine needs to be excited and call forth to act true to itself in the world.

The inner marriage of the nurtured inner masculine and the nurtured inner feminine allows for their marriage within our being and profound wholeness. In understanding the needs of the external masculine and the external feminine and applying what is learned in meeting those needs within we can find a faster, easier and gentler way of creating wholeness within our own being.

In this wholeness, the individual can then step by themselves into the creative process for any creative endeavor. They will have accessed their inherent creative power and become a light unto themselves. They will have within themselves the ability to create a fertile space for creation and in essence, become a creative shape shifter. They can become what the creation needs at will. They can be the masculine to insert the seed into that fertile space and yet be that feminine being to nurture and sustain the creation.

On this same note, they can then step into the creative process with another individual and not be in need of the other individual to become complete for they are already whole. Rather, they step into the creative process with another to share a wholeness with the other. They create the space for the other to become whole In this process of creation between two whole being become possible. In this joint wholeness, the creation, the offspring of their joining, at whatever level of being the offspring is created, is free to manifest according to its nature and not bound by the needs of its creators.

Needs and wants revealed in sexuality

In this understanding of creativity, sexuality is a language or a path to allow the individualized consciousness to awaken to their wholeness and yet merging with another to allow free and unfettered creation. We talk about sexuality here for sexuality is the greatest magnifier at how effective an individual is able to discern needs from wants and this discernment is needed for every aspect of our being.

Sexuality is a dance between what one wants and what one needs. When one wants, they are incomplete and are looking to have the needs met. They are looking to become complete. However, when one is in need, they are in the wholeness of their being and the process of creation and life itself. It is much like food. When one wants food, we can probably do without it and not worry about dying. When one needs food, they will probably die if they don’t get it. When one wants sex and sexuality, they can probably do without it for they will not dies. When one needs sex, there is a part of their being that is dying and will go to sleep unless it is awakened and sustained in that intimate physical interaction that sex provides.

However it does need to be noted and emphasized, that if we have sex as a want our life will go on much as it is. If our life doesn’t change much after a sexual encounter, we can be assured we are only satisfying a want. If we have sex out of a need, a part of our being will be annihilated and die and a whole new aspect of our being will awaken and emerge. It will grow causing our life to significantly change if not be transformed. We simply need to look within and see what is unfolding to know if we are trying to satisfy wants and opposed to meeting needs.

This also bring up the fact that if we need a sexual experience with another to awaken a part of our being, and we deny ourselves the experience, there is apart of us that will remain unaware and asleep. If we need that experience as part of the minimum set of experience that we need to either meet the intention for our life and/or further our understanding and/or awaken, then we will not be able to access the understanding or have that part of our being awaken. Here again, it is essential that we learns to discern our needs from our wants and learn to follow the truth of our being. It is of course, no easy task. But there are no mistakes. There are only learning experiences to what serves and doesn’t serve us.

It has been said by some that sexuality puts one in closer contact with God (however we see God). This is said because when one was intimately involved with another human being, one is close to the Divine, since that other person is another part of the Divine. That is, of course true. But the real power of sexuality is that is creative power lies in feeling and sexuality puts us in touch with ourselves and some of the deepest feelings we will have about the needs about life, being human and being a unique creative spirit.

If we allows ourselves to be mindful and aware and truly discern what we feel whenever we engage in sex out of a want or a need, we will find that we open the door to the Divine within our own being. Additionally, when we open the door to the Divine within our own being, we can give that gift to the person with whom we are with. In this regard, this is one of the ways sex can be used as a tool of enlightenment. When we become so intimate with ourselves that we can discern between a sexual want and a sexual need and be able to nurture the offspring that comes from satisfying a sexual need at wherever level of our being in which it is created, we will come to understand the true power of the creative process and how consciousness does awaken consciousness.

Yet for most individuals, rather than going into their own being and realizing why they engage in sex to determined if it is a want as opposed to a need, they begin to focus on what is wrong with the other individual, how they are not being fully satisfied, what they are not getting, and begin to look at the differences between themselves and the other. In doing so, we cause ourselves to begin to separate from each other and comment on how the other cannot meet our needs and hold them accountable for what we ourselves do not do. That is, rather than looking to understand what our needs really are, what is needed to fulfill those needs and then act in wisdom to fulfill those needs we blame the other. As we hold the other individual accountable for what we ourselves are unable and unwilling to do, we cause conflict to arise and end up living in a separation rather than a wholeness both internally and externally.

Yet sexuality is only the most obvious place where individuals fail to look at the difference between their needs and their wants. The same is true for every aspect of their being. Unless we look at our own needs and how we are responding to life to meet those needs and allowing other individuals to be the occasion to awaken our consciousness, we simply use them as an excuse to allow our consciousness to go to sleep and to continue in the same patterns of life in unawareness.

Awakening to the biases, judgments and preference of our mind

In looking at the biological aspect of sex, sex is about mixing genes and creating a gene pool that is not susceptible to annihilation by one type of disease or illness. Mixing genes provides survivability to the species. What is interesting is that smell is the best indicator of the best mix of genes. That is, to find our best biological match to fulfill the physical purpose of sex and mixing genes is to smell them. Everything else we think is important is from the biases of our mind. However, humanity has given up going around sniffing our partners centuries ago. So the question become what exactly is influencing our choices in choosing a sexual mate?

He we can have several enlightening exercises. One exercise is we simply need to look at the individual who is most attractive to us and pull the string as to why we are attracted to them. What attributes are we seeking in a mate. Once we analyze the most attractive then we can move to the second most attractive and so on down the list of attractiveness. In time we should being to see what it is we are really looking for in an individual. Then of course, once we become involved with the individual a whole new set of concerns and issues arise that we never thought about. We find we have preference and they have preference and often the two do not correspond. In any case, we can use what arises to enlighten ourselves about our own mind and things we never realize we did, do or have a preference for or against.

But there is another exercise that is sometimes more difficult to do. Realizing that smell is the best indicator of a genetic match and that indicator has been discarded, it is to realize our preferences are based on our own thinking. We then simply need to realize there is not a person on the face of the earth with whom we could not have a passionate love affair. All that stands in our way is our own mind and what we think and believe. The question becomes, "Why would we want to have a passionate love affair with any given individual and what would we desire to create with them and why, in particular, why them as opposed to anyone else such that we would want that love affair?" But then this same question is applicable to any individual even the individual to whom we are drawn to what to love. That is, "Why do we desire the individual we do and what is it we really want to create with them or, are we only satisfying desires of the mind?"

In any case an exercise can be done where we simply pick a person whom we don’t like and ask, "Why can’t I have a passionate love affair with this person?" Of course, our mind will quickly gives us the reason why. But if we begin to do this for each person we don’t like or find objectionable for some reason, we will quickly come to see how bias we really are. We then only need to pull the string to see why we have the bias we do and from where that bias arises. There may be some very valid reasons but, in almost all cases, it is simply and excuse offered by our mind. Such an exercise can be quite enlightening about our mind and our preferences.

The hardest part with these exercises relative to the biases, judgments and preferences of our mind is the honesty and truthfulness of our mind. We should not be surprised to find our mind lying to ourselves. In doing these exercises it is often useful to have someone play the devils’ advocate to continually challenge the honesty and truthfulness of our answer. Here again, such an exercises can be most enlightening about our mind. In fact, we may find our real reason for the mate we think we want is not something on which we really desire to make a long term commitment.

Related topics
An awareness in what we feel
Sexuality and awakening body consciousness

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