Sexuality and becoming aware 

A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic

Copyright 2009 by K. Ferlic,   All Rights Reserved

The basis process for using sexuality for awareness, awakening, enlightenment, and transformation is essentially the same and discussed in the topic, "Basic process for awareness, awakening, enlightenment and transformation through sex." The way to use sexuality as a tool for awakening, as a tool for enlightenment and a tool for transformation all start with the same basic approach. It is only the application of what is found in different. What is achieved is determined by how we have focused our attention and awareness on what arises in sexuality. The discussion here focuses on sexuality as a too for awareness. The basic approach we need to take if we intend to use sexuality as a tool is discussed in the topic, "Sex, the basic approach."

Awakening is about becoming aware. Becoming aware is about seeing the relationships between what we experience. It is to being to see the cause effect relationships and the resulting cause effect chain. Understand that of which we are aware and how to use to which we have awaken is about being enlightened. Acting to use the enlightenment we access is about becoming a conscious creator.

Becoming aware is about learning to see beyond the obvious. It is about becoming the detached witness to see what is giving rise to the cause effect chain in which we are engage to be able to step out and become the cause. It is to become the cause of a new cause effect chain which better serves who and what we are.

Sexuality has the ability to open us to our feelings and causes many feelings, memories and thoughts to arises. The opening of feelings coupled with the ability to be mindful and aware is one of the quickest ways to access the truth of our being. Simply by learning to watch what arises and how the thoughts, feelings and memories shift will allow us to become mindful and aware. As a result of how the inner is reflected in the outer, how we respond externally and/or express ourselves externally through sexuality will tell us something about what needs to be occurring internally with our inner masculine and inner feminine and what inner needs are not being met.

One of the most powerful way is to engage in caressing the body and paying attention to the feelings and thoughts which arise as the hands move over different part of the body including the sex genitals and private parts. Sexuality is involved because we must be free to flow the energy and the feeling as lead.

There is an awareness in what we feel if we are willing to focus our attention and awareness in what we feel. However, most raise the threshold on what we feel because of the pain we experience early in life and never learn to look into whatever we feel, painful or pleasurable, as to from where the feelings really come. When we become mindful and aware of the thoughts we have and what we feel, then we can begin to ask what is the awareness that lies what we feel. When we learn to do this the body and what it feels can then be used to access information otherwise not available

The essence of sexuality as a tool for awareness arises from the fact that sex can create an awakening as a direct result of sex being about creating life. One we awaken we can then become aware to that of which we have awakened. When sexuality is involved often that to which we awaken is about creating life. But it is not necessarily about having sex. It is about keeping some aspect or part of our being alive. Or, it is about resurrecting dead parts of our being.

This is a very important understanding. In addition to creating life, it keeps us alive who or in part and to resurrect dead parts of our being. It this regard, sexuality is very much about awakening and we can experience any awakening as a new life within our being for we now have the possibility of developing the awareness to live differently with the newly awaken consciousness and/or feelings.

To use sexuality as a tool for becoming aware, we only need to focus our attention and awareness as to what arises in what we feel and in to the thoughts we have. Here again, one of the most powerful way is to engage in caressing the body and paying attention to the feelings and thoughts which arise as the hands move over different part of the body. It is to make the caressing a meditation for both the one doing the caressing and the one caressed. It does not matter if one ultimately has sex or not. But if one does, they still need to be mindful and aware of what they feel and the thoughts they have.

In the act of sexuality, whatever we are thinking, that thought is being reinforced by the energy of the sexuality and we are planning the seeds of our thinking in our being. The seeds, in turn ,will grow and bear fruit. If our thoughts are anywhere other than being fully present to what is occurring, we are planting seeds of separation. If we are totally present we are learning to be present to what is, as it is, we are planting seeds of being present and being fully present in the moment now and in the future. Here we plant seeds of becoming aware. In this regard, love making can be a very powerful meditative or "yogic" type action that allow us to train our being to be fully present in the moment and become mindful and aware of what we are feeling and sensing and to meet the true need of the other. Since it can be such a pleasurable act, the pleasure helps to catalyze the efforts to become mindful as opposed to some disciplinary type action typical of most yogic efforts.

Sexual feeling can cause us to go deep with to become aware. For example, many remove themselves from society so as to be isolate to go within and become aware of what lies within. However, whether realized or not, longing is a form of isolation much more powerful that removing oneself from society. Longing is often more painful for one is the middle of a society yet alone and isolated. But it is longing and the pain of this longing, especially longing of the heart, that propels us into very deep awakening and awareness to what lies in the heart.

On this point, sexuality is an extremely important and a powerful tool. Most experience a longing in their heart for another. Most see it as an individual of the opposite sex so the mental answer is to go and find a sexual partner. In most societies this means find a spouse and getting married. Spiritual practices have even been developed around the use of sexuality to assist in moving from seeking a beloved, that sexual and physical partner, and raising it to a spiritual dimension to access the Beloved, that ultimate Love. In some ways sexuality seems to have been created to exasperate the pain of longing of the heart. Yet when most seek to alleviate the pain through sex they get stuck in the sexuality and what it creates. Hence the recommendation to become celibate in many traditions that seek to become aware and transcend the physical and/or obtain spiritual enlightenment. However all we need to do is pull the string on our longing as we would any other pain.

Relative to becoming aware there is one consideration about celibacy. As a result of the mixing of energy that occurs in sexuality at the energetic level, to attempt to use sexuality for the purpose of accessing the truth within our being can be difficult. The mixing of energy causes clarity to be lost. The complexity of sexuality and mixing of our energy with another is one reason why celibacy is often recommended when one enters a path to explore their true nature. It is not because celibacy is necessary. Rather it is because sexuality is not understood as the creative tool that it is a mixing of energy energetically is not recognized. But celibacy is not the solution.

The solution is simply to developed a clear insight as to our truth nature before engaging in sexuality. The ability of sexuality to open us to our feelings and gain access to the truth of our being is noted here even if it is not recommended as a vehicle for such purposes because it is such a powerful creative tool. If we are at least aware of what occurs energetically in sexuality, we can begin to see glimmers of their internal needs even if finding the truth of our being is complicated by sexuality. Those glimmers can be quite useful if we becomes aware of their presence.

However, it also needs to be noted here that because sexuality is part of our being, to know the truth of our being, our sexuality is something each of us will eventually have to explore. We cannot avoid it if we desire to know our truth. How we do so is an issue each of us will have to face and the way we do it will be unique to ourselves.

The recommendation made here is that before we start to explore sexuality we have some idea of the truth of our being and what serves and doesn’t serve us so we don’t get lost in the exploration.

How to use sexuality

Using sexuality for awareness is actually quite simple and has two part. One is to become mindful and aware of the thought, feelings, images, memories and the like which arises. Then learning to pull the string as to what arises by asking why what has arose arose as opposed to something else.

Related topics
An awareness in what we feel
Sexuality can be the language of reconstitution
A bottom line about sex and our creativity
Sensual experience beyond sex

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