Fear of ego annihilation and assimilation into oneness

 

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Copyright 2008 by K. Ferlic, † All Rights Reserved

 
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Related, but somewhat different from fear of death of the ego is fear the ego will be annihilated and we cease to exist for we rejoin the oneness of all things.

From the perspective of ego, the ego says, "Why do I want to find my way back to the Source if I am only going to be annihilated upon assimilation - I will cease to exist?" But this is the paradox - it is true, but isnít. First, the All That Is or the consciousness within, or behind, Creation needs intentions to create Creation. Without the egos of Creation there is both no creation to experience and nothing to experience the Creation. Our ego identity is an intention of the All That Is, to experience Itself and to experience the creation It Created. We are essential to it and a part of it. We cannot not exists.

We are. Our awareness always were and always will be. The form we experience may change but the awareness always exists and never changes. The only question is about what form is to be used to express ourselves at any "instant" in time. We will exist in some form as long as the consciousness within, or behind, Creation intends to experience Creation. There is no Creation to be experienced without us.

Being assimilated in oneness is a lot like joining the collective of society. Rather than having our identity completely annihilated by the social collective, we always retain who we are and view that society from our own eyes and perspective. We may be an automaton and function identically to 100 people in a very routine, mundane, identical task. But, nevertheless, we always view what is happening and experience what is happening from our own perspective. We need to understand that I may be standing almost in the exact same spot as you are, but what I am experiencing may be completely different than what you are experiencing. The beliefs from which I view the experience are completely different from the beliefs you hold to view the experience. Analogously it is the same as returning to oneness in consciousness. We are assimilated, but we are not.

Another way to understand what is said here is too look at a piano. A piano has eighty eight keys. They always exists. Whether anyone key is played in any given moment to make music is another question. Whether any given key is heard in a given moment doesnít matter. All the keys exist and are available to be played. We can view our awakening and going to sleep cycle as our key being played or not played. Our ego is what creates the form in any given moment including the from of not being played or manifested. So, even when it is not in a from experienced as a separate identity, it nonetheless exists as the entity without form.

As for the experience of being assimilated into oneness, what we find is a profound loneliness. Our mind expects to find heaven and/or Nirvana. We do experience a profound freedom and infinity of being. But once we get over the profound freedom and ability to span time and place, we find there is no one else. We are totally alone. We are the Creator before Creation.

What needs to be understood is that when become one with the consciousness within, or behind, Creation, we have its perception of Creation. We no longer have our perception as an aspect or part of whole. We are in the perception of the whole. In this perception, there is no other but ourselves. Our ego and the Ego of All that Exists or the ego of the consciousness within or behind Creation become one. We return to that point of being alone and desiring a playmate as described in the Creation Story for the Creativity Perspective. We become the Creator. But in being the Creator we shatter ourselves as in the Creation Story and return to the perception of the ego looking for it playmate. We will never know no other ego other that our ego no matter what experience we have even if it is to look through the eyes of another. This is why often when individuals have an experience of the Creator, they see themselves for they are the Creator. We all are the Creator. But our mind is incapable of fully understanding what it means to be the Creator for experience of being the Creator is outside of mind and can never be properly characterized by mind. Quite simply it is like trying to put infinity into a box.

Related topics
Fear of being alone
The problem of mind and the experience of the Source of Creation - the trap of mind

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