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Why the second half
of the journey took nine years
An
unexpected observation about the anxiety and chaos of creation
The
initial writing of this topics - the stories of the mind
A conclusion
The title, “Why the second half of
the journey took nine years,” is actually incorrect for it has taken
longer than nine years.
Mind only saw the journey as complete when this topic was
originally addressed. In actuality, it took nine years to understand
how to get
out
of the box created by our early programming. The second half of
the journey will only be complete when the all the information
gained about
how we lose our ability to be in the
most creative state and then
return to that state is made available in documented form.
The current thinking of
mind is to say the journey is complete when all the information
is provided on the web. However, what is experienced is each subject
written for web causes a variety of other subjects to be raised.
Many of which warrant their own discussion. The convoluted nature of
the topics is analogous as to why and how
we lose ourselves in our creations. Nevertheless, in time, there
will be a closure on the process. How long that will take is really
unknown. But what has been learned to date is significantly worth
noting and why this topic is being presented in this format - a
composite of the current understanding and the understanding when
this topic was originally addressed.
An unexpected observation
about the anxiety and chaos of creation (Top)
What was observed is that when
this topic was originally written and posted nine years after the
experience of the
Ultimate Accident,
mind had the impression it understood the journey was complete.
It understood all that needed to be explored was explored. In part,
this was true. The box, or the
cage of our own making in which we put our creativity was
reasonably understood. But there was another piece of the puzzle
which did not become obvious until almost a year later that prompted
this new section about an unexpected observation. The issue arose as
discussed in the topic, “Using
creative play to recreate oneself,” as a result of the fact that
we are
multidimensional.
Being
multidimensional, a part of our being will remain in the
chaos of creation until we have the
minimum set of experiences to create what we desire even when
mind chooses otherwise. This was something that was not
understood but was a surprise observation. In hindsight, it should
have been expected. It was known we are multidimensional and we can
exist in other dimensions. There was no reason to not think we could
be working on a creative endeavor in more than one dimension at any
one time. How much remains in chaos depends on what we desire to
create. In the case here, studying creativity, the journey could
nor, or rather cannot, end until it is understood how to communicate
what was learned about creativity and how we create. Consequently, a
part remain in chaos looking for a way to communicate what was
learned.
What needs to be understood, to study creativity and truly
understand it, we need to create something from start to finish. In
order to understand how we create our experiences and the reality of
those experience it was necessary to become both the creator and the
creation. It was to literally create
something from nothing and brining that something into a life of
its own allowing that life to freely unfold.
The journey into the exploration of creativity could not end until
the entire creation process was observed. The journey could not end
until the creation matured and became a life unto itself and either
ended as in death and/or evolve to create a new life as a product or
offspring. The creation created to study creation did not end.
Rather, a new life was created from that creation. That did not
occur until about nine and a half years after the
Ultimate Accident.
- six months after the first writing of this topic. Yet, that
minimum set of experience to explain the process was, and is,
still being compiled as of this current writing. Even at this
writing, ten years after the Ultimate Accident, it is clear there
are still things to communicate which were observed and known in,
and at the time of, the Ultimate Accident. But words and/or a way of
expressing what was learned had not yet be found to communicate them
to meet the intent of the original intention that created the
conditions to stumble into the Ultimate Accident..
To the current
mind, it appears the skeleton structure being used to guide the
documentation of the findings and make them available is sufficient
to end the journey when “the meat is put on the bones” so to speak
in the form of discussion topics. However, if the previous ten years
is any indication, it can be expected a new twist will arise to
cause the journey to continue.
The essential observation which needs to be understood is that the
creative play and the
most creative state is much like the play of a
very young child. The very young child moves from thing to thing
experiencing everything without focusing on anything in particular
They are free to explore all options and possibilities. When we look
for creative solutions, we cannot create what we desire until we
explore all the possibilities to know what will work the way we
desire.
The exploration of possibilities occurs in the
chaos step of the
creative/creation process before the energy gets directed into a
particular mold. How much or how many aspects of our
multidimensional being get directed into the chaos for the
exploration depends on what we desire to create. There is the need
to live in that chaos as long as necessary. We will live in the
chaos as long as it takes to access what we need to meet the
intention we hold. That is, until we explore all necessary options.
Options are explored in sequence unless there is one or more
individuals who hold and act on the same jointly held intention. In
this case, the exploration can be done in parallel. The creation
cannot be created until all options are explore, or at least a
sufficient number explored to ensure the success of the creation.
Although one may pick an option on which to act, if the intention
continues to be held, a part of us will remain in the
chaos of creation exploring options.
But there is an
anxiety in the
chaos of creation. We feel it even if we cannot consciously
explain it. As long as a part of our being remains in the chaos of
creation, we will feel an anxiety. As such,
mind kept trying to end the journey to end the anxiety. That is,
it kept trying to determine it had the solution and all that needed
to be known when all that was needed was not known. The first
writing of this topic presented below was one of the many decision
by mind the journey was complete. In reality, as long as the
intention was held, the chaos continued, the anxiety continues.
What is interesting is our
mind wants to find focus but the intention we hold keeps us in
the chaotic process exploring. It is here we feel we will go, or
are, crazy. Yet, in the end, it is only a prolonged exploration of
the unknown. When we do find what we seek in the chaos, life will
fall into place. Mind will find its external focus. Until then we
can expect to remain in the chaos.
This is what happened in the exploration of creativity which gave
rise to the information in the
Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity material. There was a
continual desire for the journey to end because of the
anxiety within. But, no focus could be found in the external
world that would allow the journey to end and/or provide a
sufficient distraction break the focus of the intention and end the
journey. There was the continual desire of
mind to find something externally on which focus and direct it
energy to bring what was understood at that point in time into a
physical form. Yet nothing could be found that would hold the focus.
Quite simply the chaos was not over and the passion generated by the
intention was stronger than the pull of the mind. It was continual
for over ten years and continues to some extent at this writing. It
is as thought the anxiety and chaos will not end until all the
material that needs to be recorded is recorded and made available.
It has been observed that as the understanding is documented and
integrated into an overall picture, the more the anxiety dissipates
and the chaos decreases. It is still present but the process can be
seen for what it is.
As discussed in the topic , “Using
creative play to recreate oneself,” we do not stay wondering
around endlessly in this
chaotic state because of the
conscious and nonconscious focus we hold. That to which we are
eventually drawn, tell us about the deeper
composite intention we carry. Our conscious intention is not
normally the only intention we carry. What became clear is in
studying creativity, the
conscious intention to explore creativity overlaid a deeper
unconscious intention, the
intention for incarnating. As the consciousness intention
fulfilled the deeper intention, the
anxiety was again, seen to dissipate.
Two notes need to be made here before seeing how
mind worked to end the journey when this topic was originally
written. One is about the energy rising from within and the other is
about astrology and
how the inner world is reflected in the outer world.
Throughout this journey, when something very energetic that was
capable of shifting the direction of understanding was surfacing
from the
nonconscious mind of which the conscious
mind had no awareness, the mind’s attention was directed to a
very focus concentrated play by the subconscious mind. It was as
though an irrational desire to play took over and held the conscious
mind captive to allow the energy and insight to surface without
judgement and/or interference of the mind. The experience of the
effect is like being intensely consumed by a computer game for hours
upon hours into the late hours of the night. It is as though
something possessed the mental attention and diverted it completely
from the journey into non goal orientated spontaneous play. The mind
had to become totally preoccupied and out of the picture for the
insights to arise. It never fail.
What also was observed, was there appeared to be some correlation
with astrology. Probably more anecdotal than scientific, but
nevertheless seemingly present. As stated in the topic “The
Issue of Astrology in Creative Endeavors - an Observation,”
Astrology was followed to see what if anything seem to correlate on,
or with, creativity. The conclusion was stated the astrology is more
like a forecast giving us an idea about the weather being favorable
or not favorable for certain activities. It does not mean they
cannot occur, it is just not as easy as at other times. Yet, it
appeared there were times that acted as a doorway for certain
creative insights to surface.
Can such a phenomenon be provided to the satisfaction of science?
Probably not. The effect is too subtle and requires a well developed
mindfulness and awareness with an acute observation of internal and
external events to lend itself to accurate measurement unavailable
to most individuals that would satisfy the rigors of science.
Nevertheless, although an astrological connection seemed to be
present, it was not something that could be controlled by the
mind. To think so is to not understand that mind only knows the
past and cannot effectively lead one in a true creative endeavors.
The best it can provided is an extrapolation of the past.
From the understanding that
our inner world is reflected in the outer, it should not be
surprising that there are things from time to time that allow us to
see the reflection. What is curious is the specific insight
discussed here occurred in a way other insight also occurred in this
journey. It is as though climatic conditions exist that are
favorable to creative insights and those that are not. Curiously,
the particular insight causing this topic to be rewritten occurred
on a Monday morning. The weekend Astrology talked about it being
time to dispel the myth of serendipity. Happiness and the like does
not arise from glorious coincidences no mater how many mystics say
otherwise. But, then it went on to say, you could be very lucky
during the weekend as a result of Mercury’s alignment to Neptune and
a wish could be granted. Almost the entire weekend was consume by a
total distraction with old computer game quite common before
creative insights surface. The wish that was granted was the deeper
insight into the creative process not previously seen for what it
was.
Monday’s Astrology stated that it was as thought one is locked in a
cocoon and there was the feeling of being locked in an unfolding
process. Out of the process would be the release what was always
known but unseen and unrecognized but yet, to have possession all
along. In many ways that is what the release of this understanding
about being held in the
chaos of creation has been. It had been known since the
Ultimate Accident
and expressed in writing about the
creative/creation process. The
anxiety of the process has been felt for the entire journey and
no external focus was found to relieve the anxiety. Yet, only with
this insight and in this writing has been clear as to why this
effort to explore creativity could not end when
mind wanted it to end, nor could any external focus be found to
direct the energy into manifestation. The reason was that the chaos
of creation had not yet allowed all of the options to be explored.
Only after the
minimum set of experience was obtained did the insight came the
understanding of how the new life from this creation occurred. That
understand and insight brought the study of creativity full circle.
The initial writing of this topics - the stories of the mind
(Top)
This then brings us to the first
writing of this topic where
mind tried to end the journey by saying the realization as to
what the top and bottom of the box really meant. This section has
been retained so as to see how mind tried to explain the journey
ended and all that was needed had been obtained. It is what mind
will always do. It will create a story to satisfy its need. This
aspect of mind to create a story is one reason why it is so
important to follow our intuitive guidance in creative endeavor.
If you look at the time line from
the
Ultimate Accident to when the author felt a completion to the
journey as discussed “In
a Box” it is about nine years. One may ask why did it take nine
years for the author to finally come to the realization about the
top and bottom of the box. The answer to this question can be seen
as one of three answers. In one way or another two of the answers
are directly applicable for different reasons. The third is still up
for debate. In the opinion of the author, the second answer is a
little more correct than the first but the third may actually be the
truth of the matter
The first answer as to why the second half of the journey took nine
years is that it was fear. Although the journey would have taken a
finite time for the seeds to bear fruit as explained below, it did
not have to take nine years. Much of what was needed was available
at the time of the
Ultimate Accident. Fear, however, extend or
expanded the time that was needs. But exactly how was fear present.
Fear was present in the sense of not being willing to accept the
leadership role required. The problem was that the author had
preferences as to how he wanted things to work out and he did not
particular like the role he had to play. His preferences and
attempts to manifest his preferences only got in the way and
interfered with what needed to occur. That interference caused the
process to spread out a little longer than necessary. When working
with the psychics, he was warned by several of them that “It will
not work out the way you expect.” He was somewhat puzzled by that
statement especially because the part about “the way you expect.” He
didn’t see himself as having expectations. He didn’t understand as
to what they were referring. Other psychics recommended the need to
surrender. But the author did not exactly understand to what he
needed to surrender.
In hindsight, the statement “It will not work out the way you
expect” was a gross understatement. There was nothing in the
author’s experience that allowed him to anticipate the way things
unfolded. Although he often knew the outcome beforehand, the process
to get there was nothing like he could imagine. In time he had to
learn to simply surrender to the process even when he disliked what
he was experiencing.
But there was one expectation he definitely possessed that was
hard to give up. He expected that what he was to communicate would
be readily accepted by people. It wasn’t so much that they rejected
or argued about what he had to say. Rather, it was simply
too much for many to believe and tremendously difficult for many
people to accept let alone understand. The author, as anyone else,
does not like to be ostracized, abandoned, not heard, or otherwise
rendered a non person by society and those in his life. Yet, the
message he had to communicate and the understanding contained within
the Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity can be difficult to accept.
It is difficult only because because our normal every day
experiences seem to tell us something different.
At a conscious level, he would say he had no fear about facing what
needed to be done. As a child, because of where his home was
located, there was a certain fear he had to face every time he
wanted to play in the woods behind his home. The house in which
he grew up was about forty feet from the closed up entrance to an
old coal mine. He always feared the entrance opening or the
abandoned mine
caving in in some way. Adults told him he was being foolish in
fearing such things. They said the old mines don’t do that. To play,
he had to learn to put aside his fear for the fear never went away.
It was always there. Years later the mine entrance did open up. It
opened exactly where he used to play.
So too the experience of fear about this journey to explore
creativity. He never experience
any fear as such. He simply put it aside as he did when he played as
a child. He consciously felt nothing Yet it was there. The fear that
existed was subconscious. However, it did reveal itself as a fear.
It revealed itself as an allergy.
The author became aware of this fear through a peculiar allergy that
he had to some cats. Not all cats, just some types of cats. When he
asked one of the psychics with whom he worked about his allergy to
cats, her replay was, “You fear your leadership role.” He response
was, “That doesn’t make sense, I have been in leadership roles all
my life. I am comfortable in leadership roles.” Her response was,
“But in this leadership role your tribe is not behind you.” That
surprised him and he wondered for years, what exactly is it about
this understanding of our unlimited creativity such that which he
had to communicate would not something which is necessarily
supported by society. The answer, of course, is
the
top and bottom of the box, the two issues of God and sexuality
and their relationship to creativity.
Over the years the author has tried to avoid discussing and dealing
with these issues directly with individuals. But, in time, he had
come to realize it is inevitable that each of us will need to face
those two issues if we wish to get some conscious creative control
over our lives. We will need to face them in a way very few have
been educated to face. So, there has been a reluctance all through
the nine years to put those issues on the table and deal with them
directly. But as stated in the discussion “In
a Box,” theee issues were confronted and addressed in creating
the web sites
Creative Spirituality and
Creative Sexuality. These sites have been created to provide the
basics of what is needed in these two areas of God and sex
respectively relative to our creative power and ability. These
web sites address the reluctance of presenting those issues.
Each provides an alternative way. Creative Spirituality provides an
alternative way of viewing God and the creative power/Creative
Powers of creation/Creation. The Creative Spirit web site provides
and alternative view of both the role and function of sexuality.
A more correct answer as to why it would took several years, even if
the nine years to complete the second half of the journey into
creativity could be shorten without fear, is that creation is about
planting seeds and growing things. It is
an awareness the author always had. Our thoughts, our actions
and our deeds are like seeds. The seeds must be planted and
gardened. They must germinate and grow. But they must also be
nourished and watered if they are to grow to maturity and bear
fruit. In seeing the fruit one knows the type and kind of seed which
was planted and the types and kinds of seeds we have nourished and
watered. Some seeds grow quickly like weeds. Some grow slowly like
trees. Some grow enormously slow and can take lifetimes, yes,
lifetimes for the fruit to be born. One has to wait for the fruit to
know the seed which one planted. The time period since the
Ultimate Accident had been a period of observing and watching
seeds grow. It has been about nourishing, watering and weeding.
For example, the discussion, “The
Power to Observe,” discusses how the author first came to
realize his ability to observe and see into what gives rise to what
we experience. That was an instantaneous experience. To
create the critical mass of conditions that created the space
for the
Ultimate Accident was assembled over a period of four months but
had about two years of additional preparatory work. The discussion
of “The
Unfolding Flower” talks about how he saw the germination, birth
and unfoldment of the creative spirit that lies within each of us.
That experience took almost two years. It takes time for our
creations which find their root in our desires to grow and unfold.
Although at the time the author was not completely aware of the
conditions he established that gave rise to the
Ultimate Accident, he was aware of many of the intentions he
held and what he desired to create. He was aware of the seeds he was
planting but he did not know how to arrange them in an optimum
fashion. Having thought he understood creativity after many years
studying creativity, he was actively and consciously creating with
what he knew. He was also activity engaged with many individuals who
were trying to access and manifest
the dream they carried in their heart. He was aware of the seeds
they were planting. Some of their actions he considered wise. Others
of their actions considered foolish. Yet, only time would reveal
what fruit was born from those actions.
Over time he saw the fruits that were born of many of the actions
taken by individuals initially taken about the time of his
Ultimate Accident. Why the Ultimate Accident is the reference
marker for his observations was become it was a
turning point. It was the point where his awareness and point of
observation shifted and became different. He saw and experienced
Creation through a new set of eyes.
In essence, the author watched and observed his own life and the
lives of others for nine years. He took notes and wrote about what
he saw. In the process he tied to warn individuals about what they
were creating. He created workshops and discussions in hope of
addressing what saw, or did not see, unfolding. He did rituals with
them, for them and to them. He did this so they may see how to
nurture and garden the creations they desired. Some listened, some
didn’t. In any case, over time, he began to see the fruits.
The conversation with the individual in the discussion “In
a Box” that was asked by the author to take him to their church
was only the realization and synthesis in his own
mind after nine
years of what he observed about what needed to be done to break
through the top of the box. The individual’s issues with, and about,
sexuality were similarly only the synthesis and awareness of nine
years of observation and how poorly individuals understood the
creative power of sexuality for things and experiences other
than creating offspring.
But then, although all of the above makes perfect sense to our
mind,
there appears to be a third reason why it has taken nine years.
Although the above is true, and an enormous amount of time has been
needed to write and document all the observations made by the
author, there appear to be an issue of timing.
From a very human perspective and ancient traditional perspective it
can be see to be an
issue of astrology. That is, there are astrological conditions
governing our lives that have controlled the unfoldment of the
understanding possessed by the author and the additional
understanding accessed by the author in the
Ultimate Accident. The issue of astrology is discussed under the
topic of the same name, but astrology as it appears to be practiced does not do justice to what
the author has observed.
The author developed a curiosity in Astrology when one of the
psychics within whom he was working started to look more and more at
Astrology as she notice the constraints in the lives of people who
sought her advice. She notice patterns and occurrences that seem to
parallel Astrological phenomenon and she saw Astrology as the
answer. However, the author saw something quite different.
In looking as Astrology, as discussed under the topic of “Issue
of Astrology,” the author has come to understand Astrology is
just another attempt by man to understand the
deep undercurrents of Creation. In this understanding, there is
valuable information you can get from Astrology but it is not as
powerful as some would have one believe. The recommendation made
here is
to use it very, very judiciously much like you use the tides when
boating on a shallow rocky bottomed river. Otherwise, it will
quickly lead you off your own path. It is the author’s opinion that
our intuitive guidance is still better and ultimately will be more reliable
than any astrological prediction.
One thing that has always stuck in the author’s
mind has been the
issue of timing. When the author first heard the Christ story, he
was always struck by what Christ is reported to had said to His
mother at the
Wedding Feast at Cana. It is reported that when Christ was asked by
his mother to create more wine for wedding, He said, “It is not my
time.” Needless to say, to satisfy His mother, He went ahead and
turned water into wine. But, if the accounting of the story is true,
there was no recognition by anyone of Christ. Everyone was just
amazed by the good wine that was now suddenly available. But no one
could see the Divinity of Christ for it was not time for him to be
seen. The author always wondered about that. What is the issue of
timing?
If Christ truly was God incarnate, fully at one with the Divinity of
God, why should timing be an issue? Could not God change the timing
of His own Creation? But then if He was not fully one with God as He
is reported to be but under the control of something larger, even
thought it was not yet His time, He could still step out and create
the requested miracle. The issue isn’t the Divinity of Christ. The
issue is timing and what exactly is happening that there is a timing
to the events we experience? What it timing related to the
unfoldment of Christ’s power and/or His personal development? Was it
timing of others and their development? Was it timing of physical
Creation? What is all of the above or none of the above?
It is interesting to note that there had been a timing to the
author’s life and his unfoldment.
It
was stated he choose to wait till his father died before he
started his work. When the author was working with some psychics,
several commented that certain aspects of the journey would take
years, with the emphasis on years indicating much more than a few. A
similar statement was made in the author soul retrieval about his
own understanding. Others commented on having information but not
having any idea as to the timing as to when evens would unfold. The
author has had his own experience of knowing something and being
frustrated at knowing something is going to happen and having to
wait years for its unfoldment.
More importantly and more practical, as a manager and throughout his
professional career, the author clearly saw there was a timing to
things. There were opportune moment and you know those moments by
looking and observing carefully as to how the energy of the
situation was flowing. Nothing magical there. Much like observing
the course of a river flowing from the mountains to the sea. The
course of the river and often its speed was determine by the land in
which if flowed. One just had to observe the land to know what to
expect.
In studying psychics it is apparent, different psychics tap into
different undercurrents. Some see deeply into currents that take
many, many years to unfold. Some tap into currents that take a short
time. The evidence suggests we can focus ourselves to tap into any
current we wish by the intention we hold and the beliefs and
thinking that colors that intention.
In the author’s case, he has always has a feeling he was much like
Noah in the middle of a desert building a Ark. He always felt there
was a timing to this work and he needed to write and explore
creativity even when it didn’t make sense to do so. He always felt
if he didn’t do what need to be done when the time was available, he
would no have what was needed when it was necessary.
So the third answer as to why this material has take nine years even
when the author knew much of information at the time of the
Ultimate Accident is simply timing. No matter what our
mind
think and what excuses we can point to as the cause, there is
evident to suggest it is nothing more than time regardless of what
stories we create about it. It has not been time for the
understanding to come together until it did. To accept this answer
bring up the how issue of free will and how free are we.
Quite frankly, at the time of this writing in January 2006, there
are several issues that appear unresolved as to as to timing.
Depending on how they unfold and when they unfold, the author will
then be able to say better whether it took nine years because of
fear, certain decisions had to grow and unfold or there has been a
timing well beyond what we can normally access to change.
At this moment, it an be said with reasonable certainty, it takes
time for the seeds we plant, our intentions, to germinate, take
root, grow and bear fruit. During this time, we must water and
provide nourishment to what we wish to grow. However, there are
deep undercurrents. Much like the weather, they greatly
influence what we can grow, how fast they can grow and whether or
not they can even reach maturity. Different undercurrents affect
different intentions and some undercurrent influence many of the
others. But for each of us, all that really matters, is we access
the undercurrent that gives rise to our life and the
intention for our life and align with that current. It is that
current which will give us the deep
inner satisfaction we all seek. We only need to be aware of the
other currents and we can play in those currents. But we cannot get
distracted by them at the expense of the current that is guiding our
life. We must be about
our fathers business whatever it may be.
A
conclusion (Top)
The conclusion as to why it has
taken so is two fold. One is there is an intention for our life that
has been overlaid with the intention for Physical Creation. Creation
as we experience it is about growth and unfoldment. Although we have
a
free will
and have an unlimited creativity, we are constrained by the
established flow pattern for Physical Creation and our life. We can
change the flow path , but only if we access the root cause as to
what is supplying, or not supplying, the energy for Creation. We can
change the flow of either one by wisdom when we access the root as
to what is giving rise to the Creation. But first, we will have to
access that state of creative play to start seeing reality for what
it is.
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The business of our life
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Origins and Occasions
for the Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity Technology and it
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