An awareness in the body
A Gentle Phoenix discussion topic
Copyright 2008 by K. Ferlic, All Rights Reserved
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In addition to the body being a vehicle for a physical experience, the body is a bridge and temple. It is a bridge in the sense that through what we feel and the awareness which lies in feeling, it allows us to span the world of the seen and unseen . It allows us to know and see into the unseen. As a temple, it is a place where we can meet the creative powers/Creative Powers of Creation which give life to the world face to face. It becomes a vehicle to manifest what is accessed in the unseen world through the bridge and the creative powers/Creative Powers we meet in the feelings in temple.
In the awareness of the flow of energy that arises from the depths of our being simultaneously permeating each and every level of our being there lies a doorway. It is the doorway to all that humanity has every sought. To access this awareness, wisdom and understanding we must walk through the door way. But to walk through the doorway, it is uncertain what we will find for our mind filters what we see. We may experience pleasure. We may experience pain. Or, we may experience awareness and wisdom. Or, we experience them all simultaneously.
There is a powerful awareness and a profound wisdom and understanding about who and what we are, our birthright, what we incarnated to do, about the nature of Creation and ourselves, the creative powers/Creative Powers of Creation, and the source/Source of Creation locked within our body. It is accessible only through the depth of our feelings when we are open to feeling at the very depth of our being simultaneously at each and every level of our being - spiritual, mental, emotional and physical.
The first issue we face is whether or not this feeling at the very depth of our being is judged by mind is painful or pleasurable. The answer is that it is simultaneously both for it is beyond mind and beyond the duality which mind creates. Hence our first really dilemma - how do we create the conditions such that we can be in this feeling and not have it turn into pleasure or pain. If it is pain full, we will run away. If it is pleasurable, we become addicted to the pleasure and miss the awareness and wisdom.
This awareness and understanding is accessible through feeling because, whether we realize it or not, our creative power is accessed and arises in feeling. Without some passion, some flow of energy, for what we desire to create, nothing happens. It is our feelings for and against things in life that pulls or pushes us one way or another.
At some level of our being, we all know the doorway to this awareness and understanding is there. In fact, we have internal mechanisms that allows us to readily use this awareness and wisdom when accessed to harness both the inner and outer creative powers/Creative Powers available to us. The issue is accessing the awareness, wisdom and understanding that lies in feelings let alone understanding them and using them.
Since the awareness and understanding lies in a feeling, what we seek is beyond mind and what the mind is capable of creating from its own understanding. As a result of a quirk to Creation, which is creation is not done alone but with another or others and another is needed to give us the experiences we desire to have, the key to this awareness is actually controlled by another and needs to be given to us by them. Consciousness awakens consciousness and we need another to awaken us to the existence of this key and the awareness of how to use it. Whether how it is give is painful for pleasurable is another question but there is always the possibility of creating a gentle phoenix.
The paradox is that the key is within us and we must go in to get it but it is in a place that cannot be reached without the assistance of another. We cannot get to the depth of this feeling without the assistance of another. Another is needed to call forth and awaken the awareness of the key let alone creating the space to give it to us to use. If mind becomes afraid in any way as to what it feels and or experiences or mind imposes itself and what it thinks, we will not be able to access the awareness and understanding.
Because sexuality has the potential to take us into deep feelings, it is a natural path to the doorway to this awareness and understanding in the body. However, deep passionate feelings like anger also can provide a doorway and has been effectively used. The main difference between deep sexual feelings and deep feelings of anger is that sexuality feeling tend be more of a free flow of energy. Anger tends to be more of the free flow of energy become blocked such that it become explosive.
We do not have to have sex with the individual who gives us the key in the same way we do not have to hurt someone with whom we are angry. But we will have to be able to be deeply intimate with them at every level of our being and go to a place of vulnerability and great compassion that goes well beyond the comfort zone of mind. So to the anger. We must become very intimate with what we feel and why.
The reason for this is that to access the depth of feeling required, we will have to experience and move pass that types and kinds of strong emotional feelings found in sexuality or something like a deep anger. Exactly what is required depends on the individual. For many, the desire to engage in sex that arises because of the intimacy that is created is too much to resist and they move into sexuality and miss the awareness and wisdom that is available. Similarly for those that have the potential to awaken the deep feelings through something like anger tend to get trapped in acting on the anger rather then facing the repressed energy it represents. But the issue is not sex or sexuality and whether or not one engages in sex nor engaging in the anger we may feel. The issue is to move past the sex and sexuality and the anger. It is not about denying or suppressing what we feel, but to move though and past it.
In actuality, it has been observed that is actually easier to get an individual focused who is angry to look inward to awaken the anger that it is to get an individual to explore their sexuality feelings and move past the sex.
Sexuality becomes very confusing to many for three reasons. First, sexuality is a natural door way to this awareness and understanding as a result of the deep feelings and intimacy it can create. Second, the awareness, wisdom and understanding lies in deep feelings beyond sexuality so one does have to face the types and kinds of feelings that do arise in sexuality. Three, sexuality is the second most creative state one can enter and engaging in sexuality causes that creative power to be released. As a result, sexuality masks the awareness and understanding available to us and we do not use the depth of feelings available to us.
Many do see in sex something that goes to the depth of their being but they do not know what it is. They engage in sex yet find something lacking. Many see, or may be better said, many intuitively understanding, that what they seek lies in someone or something external to them. So, they seek a beloved or that perfect soul mate who they can trust to call forth and give them what they seek. Others see what they seek beyond what a physical individual can provide and seek the Beloved - something, someone as intimate as the beloved but goes well past what a physical beloved can provided - something of divine power and origins. Many think it is a relationship with God so they seek God. But in seeking God, because of a quirk in most concepts of God, they create a separation for God cannot do what another human being must do.
What is sought lies beyond sexuality. Because one must go through the feelings that arise in sexuality, in many ways sexuality stands at the door way preventing us from entering the place where this awareness, wisdom and understanding can be readily accessed. But sexuality is ultimately not the issue. Some are frightened by sexuality and what it implies. This fear frightens many away from entering, which is a real possibility for most of us for a variety of reasons. Many seek the sexuality for the pleasure it provides and cannot find the wisdom and understanding for they have crossed over and stepped into the duality of mind. But the primary issue of sexuality is a result of the fact that sexuality is the second most creative state we can enter. Without a clear intention and a single point focus, sex, and the way it creates, creates such a diversion, distraction and issues in our life that we never see beyond what lies behind, or beyond, the sex. But, surprisingly all of the issue of sexuality can be relatively easily be overcome. The real issue is trust.
Trust has several different meanings and does mean different things to different people. Trust, as used here in this context, is about something committed to one’s care for use and safekeeping. It his about having a charge and responsibility to ensure the integrity of what is used and having the integrity to use what is given wisely and in a way that maintains its safekeeping. Yet, trust requires a confidence in the reliability of another without careful investigation and necessarily the proof one would like to have about one’s integrity and trustworthiness. To trust someone causes us to enter the unknown and makes us very, if not extremely, vulnerable.
The question is, "Who will call forth and gives us the key to open the door to this awareness?" Who can we trust to go to such an intimate space? Who can create the safe and secure space and call forth the depth of our feelings beyond what even sexuality can arouse? Who can we trust to cause the deepest possible sexual feeling to arise in us to experience their joy and not trap us in their own desires? Who can we trust that will keep us focused on what we need to do and address to access this awareness and bring it forth into our life to survive in the world we have created? Who can we trust that will not allow the sexuality to become the distraction nor the past it surfaces, or the energy that is released? Who can we trust that will not take the energy that is releases and the vulnerability created within us and used for their desires. Who can we trust to use this key and yet freely and willing give it to us? Who can we trust to help us go to the most intimate and most powerful creative place anyone can go and yet not use what is found for their own gain? How do we construct a way with another that allows us to access this awareness within the body and yet use it in our life and remain free from all that traps and bindings that have prevented us from readily accessing it in the past?
Of course, along with the issue of trust in another, we must face the issue of trust within ourselves.
Can we trust ourselves to go to such an intimate, space and face all that keeps us from living in and from that space? Can we trust ourselves to create that safe and secure space that will give permission for the depth of our feelings beyond what even sexuality can arouse to come forth? Can we trust ourselves to be in the deepest possible sexual feeling and not become trapped in our own desires? Can we trust that we will keep ourselves focused on what we need to do and address to access this awareness and bring it forth into our life to survive in the world we have created? Can we trust that we will not allow the sexuality to become the distraction nor the past it surfaces, or the energy that is released? Can we trust that we will not take the energy that is released and the vulnerability created within us and used for our own desires? Can we trust ourselves to use this key and not lock ourselves into a cage of our own making? Can we trust to go to the most intimate and most powerful creative place anyone can go with another and not use what we find for our own gain and at the expense of the other? Do we trust ourselves that we can find a way with another that allows us to access this awareness within the body and yet use it in our life and remain free from all that traps and bindings that have prevented us from readily accessing it in the past?
There is only one way to answer these questions on trust. It is to step out and see what happens. This step can be the most frightening anyone can ever take. Yet the rewards are beyond belief and too much for most to believe.
The good news is there is a way, or ways, to access this awareness and bring it forth to use in our life without become trapped by the past, by sexuality or the one who gives us the key. The bad news is we cannot do it alone. There will have to be someone, somewhere, at some time, we will have to trust. But there is a way to find someone whom we can trust. But first we will have to learn to trust ourselves to learn to know when we are being served or not being served by another at each and every level of our being. The recommendation is to consult our intuitive guidance on as to how to access the awareness of the body and any other issues related to the body and honor the guidance we get.